Isn't it easy to get caught up in "I" and "me" and "my" Often times, we think just because we've been called to something and it isn't happening right now...then maybe we are failing...or maybe we misunderstood the Lord. While seeking God in prayer and asking for clear direction are always good ideas, over the years I've learned, sometimes it's wise to just wait.
UGH! Isn't that FOUR letter word in our current culture? Wait. For what? I mean why can't we just have what we want now?
I keep thinking about God's calling on my life....I feel strongly within my soul that the Lord has called me to teach and encourage women in the body of Christ with His word. I felt that calling at age 19, when the Lord spoke to me in the quietness of a solitary retreat...just Him and I for a few days! It was great! But, over the years...I haven't yet seen that come to fruition, (and let's just say I'm a lot older than 19).....at least to the magnitude I would have thought...
Currently the Lord, has graciously settled me into a family (Psalm 68:6) ....you see I have a tendency to be somewhat of a loner. I like quiet time and I enjoy just sitting and reading God's word or running or cleaning. Funny how the Lord created us for community and I enjoy solitude so much. Which means it is absolutely not natural for me to just want to hang out with people. Over the years the Lord has done a tremendous work in my heart, having alone time is important to be still before God, but should never become an idol. I love how over the years the Lord has blessed me with friends and family who love Him and will speak truth into my life. Even though relationships are a tremendous amount of work, especially if they are going to be biblical in purpose and spur one another onward in Christian growth....as Proverbs 18:1 says, "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire he breaks out against all sound judgement" It is not wise to walk 'alone' all the time. Again, the Lord has graciously created us for community..and then met that need that He created by giving us the family of God.
And over and over again, I have a battle I face. In the eyes of our world I am a "stay at home mom." I have no other title and the general idea of all I actually do is minimized because at the end of the day...my paycheck (if I got one) would say, "$0.00" I don't earn anything that pays the bills, I don't shoulder the financially responsibilities with my husband...I stay at home. I just raise kids, I mean after all...it's an easy task...they are just kids. It can't be that hard, there's no pressure...they only grow up to be the future doctors who treat our medical problems, future mayors who run our cities, future presidents who lead our country. Or maybe even, future pastors leading the lost to our Savior...or missionaries who go to the outermost and shed the gospel of light to a dark world. As much as I could say our family has chosen to go without over the years, it would be remiss to not give glory to God in that we have ALWAYS been provided for. God has guided our steps to be more frugal, to clip coupons...to not have our kids in countless activities...and even to go so far as to homeschool our kids. Simply put...because God has called us to this..and, "Faithful is He who calls you, He will also bring it pass." 1 Thes. 5:24
You see, when I was 19 and heard the voice of God calling me, little did I know that that calling and passion for women in the body of Christ, might come to fruition way down the road. This "interuption" of raising my children is now my priority. And, my Father, who is in Heaven was not the least surprised that I am ow raising children rather then teaching women in the body His word for this season of my life.
This call isn't just for me. If you are a mother...you are called to teach your children! I am NOT suggesting everyone homeschool. No way. Let me tell you to the praise of our God...the ONLY way a parent should homeschool is if they are certain God has called them to do so. Homeschooling is very, VERY challenging. There are days I would just love to march my children down to our public school and drop them off. But..
I can't.
Why? Not because the school is horrible, not because they wouldn't learn. None of that. Simply put...
I homeschool because God has called me to do it. He has spoken a word to my heart that until He says "stop" I am to homeschool our children. He has made His will clear in this area of our lives. Period. So, I know exactly what He has called me to, I have to do it. Any other action would be deliberate disobedience. I teach my kids not to deliberately disobey...and I am no different than they are in God's eyes.
What I am saying is as a mother, particularly a believing mother, you are called to teach your children the ways of God. His word and His truth are to be taught by you...to your children! That is your calling as a Christian mother!
Do I feel as though I have failed because I am not a famous author or an accomplished speaker (yet)...well...honestly I used to...but God has mercifully been dealing with my heart and has reaffirmed what I've known for years, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." Eccl. 3:1.
Would I LOVE to teach other ladies what the Lord speaks to me in my heart during my private study time? Oh...absolutely...sometimes I am so thrilled with God...so humbled...so amazed at His word and what He reveals to me that my heart is almost bursting out of my chest. But, right now..I've gotta WAIT. So...does that mean that God has not still called me to that? Well, I'm not making a definitive statement on that. Why? Well, because God is God and I am not. His call and my timetable don't always line up...and boy am I grateful they don't.
This morning, as I desprately needed some encouragment on the priority of mothering..I found this, so timely and such a blessing..I am sharing the link to this, and pray you will hop over to her blog and read it, it has blessed my soul!
I am thrilled to have found this sweet sister in Christ, and look forward to being blessed by God's word through her.
I'd encourage you to ask yourself some questions:
Am I embracing the call to be a joyful mother? (Psalm 113:9)
Can I rest in God's time? Just because I feel His call, doesn't mean it's going to happen right now. Deep within my heart am I truly trusting God to bring it to pass? (1 Thes 5:24)
Am I at peace with laying my life down to fulfill the call of being the mother God has called me to be?
As Christine puts it, "Will I sacrifice?"
Showing posts with label surrender. Show all posts
Showing posts with label surrender. Show all posts
10.18.2012
10.22.2009
Fearless Confidence
"Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised." Hebrews 10:35-36
God is so good! I am reading through Hebrews right now and just digesting every bite, His word is all encompassing, it is new every morning, it is amazing!! In the midst of what is going on in my life, the Lord kindly led me to this passage this morning and in studying the original text, it's just so refreshingly challenging to me all the more that I must keep my thoughts captive to Christ. The writer of Hebrews has just finished an absolutely amazing description of what Christ really accomplished for His own. Hebrews is so rich, it was hard for me to just grab onto these two verses, but the Lord just showed me as I debate in my mind..what is possibly the next course in our lives, I am not to forsake my confidence, which means (in the Greek): free and fearless confidence, cheerful courage, boldness or assurance.
Here I am just concerned about the possibilities and the Lord is simply saying, "rest in my word child." I think the older I get and the more I learn about who I am, I just see I am such a planner, and it is huge for me to put something at the Lord's feet and leave it there, without mentally entertaining the possibilities of different plans. I have to continue to rest in the confidence the Lord has given me. IN the context of this passage ultimately the word is talking about our confidence in Christ and what He has done for us on the cross,and our eternal security as followers of Christ. So as I studied this passage and these particular verses I just felt the Lord overwhelming me with victory. It is my confidence (which He has given me) in Him that keeps me...and even though by "default" I am a planner, and want to know certainties, it is in the uncertainties that I have seen the most amazing display of God Himself in my life and in the lives of those around me.
Isn't just endearing how in all the endless possibilities of life God is there, CONSTANT. He tells us He is the same yesterday, today and yes forever! (Heb 13:8) He is unchangeable, and He IS LOVE! I am humbled by this, because I know me and I honestly would be so sick of me..so sick of teaching the same lessons over and over again, and yet continually in His word the Lord affirms what He teaches me and does so through different scriptures and just at the times I need it. I love how in James, His word promises that "He gives a greater grace. 'Therefore it is said, "God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble." Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." James 4:6-7 It's so simple, as I am a planner and love to hash out in my mind the possibilities of the future, I must simply humble myself before the Lord, resting in His hand and just wait on Him, refusing to give the devil a foothold into my mind. I remember a few years ago I read this, "The primary battlefield is the mind" by Beth Moore. I loved it then, and still do because that has given me so much freedom to put things into the proper biblical perspective. My battles are mostly in the mind, and God graciously promises that if I resist the devil he will flee from me. So I am learning about myself that my planning is responsible and beneficial to a point, and that point is where all the thoughts rolling around in my head turn to worry, and then distrust of the Lord...which is obvious sin, then I must repent and ask God to help me keep my thoughts captive....but I must humble myself before Him.
I have this fearles confidence in Christ, in the words of the Psalmist, "The LORD is for me; I wil not fear, what can man do to me?" Pslam 118:6 and "In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?: Psalm 56:11
So this gift, of fearless confidence we have in Christ, must be guarded because I need to be on my toes against my enemies, my flesh and the devil. I need not give these two a foothold. I must instead undergird my mind and my heart with the living and active (Heb 4:12) word of God. "Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God." Col. 3:16
I just feel like the Lord is captivating and cultivating my heart so much lately and I am so grateful for His continued work in my life. I am so thankful He has not forsaken me and left me to myself...what a mess! Instead I can say "victory in Jesus, my Savior forever!" How sweet are the words of Praise to the One and Only, the "Lamb of God!"
God is so good! I am reading through Hebrews right now and just digesting every bite, His word is all encompassing, it is new every morning, it is amazing!! In the midst of what is going on in my life, the Lord kindly led me to this passage this morning and in studying the original text, it's just so refreshingly challenging to me all the more that I must keep my thoughts captive to Christ. The writer of Hebrews has just finished an absolutely amazing description of what Christ really accomplished for His own. Hebrews is so rich, it was hard for me to just grab onto these two verses, but the Lord just showed me as I debate in my mind..what is possibly the next course in our lives, I am not to forsake my confidence, which means (in the Greek): free and fearless confidence, cheerful courage, boldness or assurance.
Here I am just concerned about the possibilities and the Lord is simply saying, "rest in my word child." I think the older I get and the more I learn about who I am, I just see I am such a planner, and it is huge for me to put something at the Lord's feet and leave it there, without mentally entertaining the possibilities of different plans. I have to continue to rest in the confidence the Lord has given me. IN the context of this passage ultimately the word is talking about our confidence in Christ and what He has done for us on the cross,and our eternal security as followers of Christ. So as I studied this passage and these particular verses I just felt the Lord overwhelming me with victory. It is my confidence (which He has given me) in Him that keeps me...and even though by "default" I am a planner, and want to know certainties, it is in the uncertainties that I have seen the most amazing display of God Himself in my life and in the lives of those around me.
Isn't just endearing how in all the endless possibilities of life God is there, CONSTANT. He tells us He is the same yesterday, today and yes forever! (Heb 13:8) He is unchangeable, and He IS LOVE! I am humbled by this, because I know me and I honestly would be so sick of me..so sick of teaching the same lessons over and over again, and yet continually in His word the Lord affirms what He teaches me and does so through different scriptures and just at the times I need it. I love how in James, His word promises that "He gives a greater grace. 'Therefore it is said, "God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble." Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." James 4:6-7 It's so simple, as I am a planner and love to hash out in my mind the possibilities of the future, I must simply humble myself before the Lord, resting in His hand and just wait on Him, refusing to give the devil a foothold into my mind. I remember a few years ago I read this, "The primary battlefield is the mind" by Beth Moore. I loved it then, and still do because that has given me so much freedom to put things into the proper biblical perspective. My battles are mostly in the mind, and God graciously promises that if I resist the devil he will flee from me. So I am learning about myself that my planning is responsible and beneficial to a point, and that point is where all the thoughts rolling around in my head turn to worry, and then distrust of the Lord...which is obvious sin, then I must repent and ask God to help me keep my thoughts captive....but I must humble myself before Him.
I have this fearles confidence in Christ, in the words of the Psalmist, "The LORD is for me; I wil not fear, what can man do to me?" Pslam 118:6 and "In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?: Psalm 56:11
So this gift, of fearless confidence we have in Christ, must be guarded because I need to be on my toes against my enemies, my flesh and the devil. I need not give these two a foothold. I must instead undergird my mind and my heart with the living and active (Heb 4:12) word of God. "Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God." Col. 3:16
I just feel like the Lord is captivating and cultivating my heart so much lately and I am so grateful for His continued work in my life. I am so thankful He has not forsaken me and left me to myself...what a mess! Instead I can say "victory in Jesus, my Savior forever!" How sweet are the words of Praise to the One and Only, the "Lamb of God!"
12.11.2008
rending my heart
Today I was so incredibly blessed as I read through Joel 2 & 3. I am continually humbled how the LORD pursues my heart, He has captured my soul by the blood of the Lamb, and yet He alone continues the pursuit of my heart. Like no other.
This struck my heart so intensely today, "Yet even now," declares the LORD, "Return to Me with all your heart, And with fasting, weeping and mourning; And rend your heart and not your garments." Now return to the LORD your God, For He is gracious and compassionate, Slow to anger, abounding in loving kindness And relenting of evil. Joel 2:12-13
I was reading this, because daily there are issues in our lives that come up and I think as I seek God in those issues the more He shows me Himself and refines my heart. Today as I read the words here, I just kept wondering what does "rend" mean? So I looked it up in the original Hebrew and it means, to tear, to tear into pieces. Why would God want us to rend our hearts rather than our garments? Throughout the OT you see people ripping their clothes and fasting, as a sign of humility before God...and I'm just so struck here that God specifically says, tear up your hearts, not your clothing. He wants us to break up our hearts before Him, because He alone will wash away the bad pieces and purify our hearts. His word says so clearly in Psalm 51:17 "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God You will not despise." Funny how here, broken means "broken into pieces" just as rend means to tear into pieces. God wants our hearts to be broken, not because He wants us to be in pain, but I think rather because God alone wants to show us how He will heal our hearts with His love, His power and with His word. Of course you are probably wondering why God would need to heal our hearts, well very simply put, "The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it? " Jeremiah 17:0...you see our hearts are deceitful, and we must examine our motives, we must continually self evaluate...we must continually ask God to heal our hearts, and cry out to God asking Him to "Create in me a pure heart..." as David did in Psalm 51:10. I'm really struggling with some things relationally...and I"m seeking God's wisdom and God's purification of my heart before I even attempt to resolve this struggle on my own. I'm continually self evaluating to see if what I am pursuing is right, pure, and just and honoring to God, or if I am simply wanting to "return evil for evil" and not leaving room for God's conviction in others. I love this passage that Joel writes, he calls on us to rend our hearts....and why...with what promise? This...for He IS gracious and compassionate, slow to anger abounding in loving kindness and relenting of evil. So here we have this call to tear up our hearts...the lay them before Jesus...why...because He IS the one FULL of grace, compassion and loving kindness...He relates to us being slow to anger...He wants the pieces of my heart that He can refine them, heal them....and give them back to me....but covered with His grace and love...for the glory of His Name!
I am continually amazed by my God who loves and pursues me, and says that even when I am unfaithful he will remain faithful because He can not deny Himself. I am captivated today by this concept of rending my heart, and as I am studying cross references in the Bible as to where God uses the word "rend" one such reference is Isaiah 57:15, I know I've read it before but in the context of Joel, and the concept of rending my heart before the Lord, it is even more beautiful and powerful..."For thus says the high and exalted One who lives forever and whose name is Holy, I dwell on a high and holy place, and also with the contrite and lowly of spirit in order to revive the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite." As I mentioned earlier, when our hearts are rendered, broken before the Lord, He comes in His power and grace to revive them. My heart being revived by the Lord is yet another of my favorite topics covered extensively in Psalm 119...
I would encourage you today, take time to pray and ask God to help you rend your heart...and lay it before Him, we all need Jesus to work in our hearts, no matter how long you've known Him, and no matter how long you've called Him savior....we need Jesus daily to refine us, and to mold us...into the image of Christ Jesus.
This struck my heart so intensely today, "Yet even now," declares the LORD, "Return to Me with all your heart, And with fasting, weeping and mourning; And rend your heart and not your garments." Now return to the LORD your God, For He is gracious and compassionate, Slow to anger, abounding in loving kindness And relenting of evil. Joel 2:12-13
I was reading this, because daily there are issues in our lives that come up and I think as I seek God in those issues the more He shows me Himself and refines my heart. Today as I read the words here, I just kept wondering what does "rend" mean? So I looked it up in the original Hebrew and it means, to tear, to tear into pieces. Why would God want us to rend our hearts rather than our garments? Throughout the OT you see people ripping their clothes and fasting, as a sign of humility before God...and I'm just so struck here that God specifically says, tear up your hearts, not your clothing. He wants us to break up our hearts before Him, because He alone will wash away the bad pieces and purify our hearts. His word says so clearly in Psalm 51:17 "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God You will not despise." Funny how here, broken means "broken into pieces" just as rend means to tear into pieces. God wants our hearts to be broken, not because He wants us to be in pain, but I think rather because God alone wants to show us how He will heal our hearts with His love, His power and with His word. Of course you are probably wondering why God would need to heal our hearts, well very simply put, "The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it? " Jeremiah 17:0...you see our hearts are deceitful, and we must examine our motives, we must continually self evaluate...we must continually ask God to heal our hearts, and cry out to God asking Him to "Create in me a pure heart..." as David did in Psalm 51:10. I'm really struggling with some things relationally...and I"m seeking God's wisdom and God's purification of my heart before I even attempt to resolve this struggle on my own. I'm continually self evaluating to see if what I am pursuing is right, pure, and just and honoring to God, or if I am simply wanting to "return evil for evil" and not leaving room for God's conviction in others. I love this passage that Joel writes, he calls on us to rend our hearts....and why...with what promise? This...for He IS gracious and compassionate, slow to anger abounding in loving kindness and relenting of evil. So here we have this call to tear up our hearts...the lay them before Jesus...why...because He IS the one FULL of grace, compassion and loving kindness...He relates to us being slow to anger...He wants the pieces of my heart that He can refine them, heal them....and give them back to me....but covered with His grace and love...for the glory of His Name!
I am continually amazed by my God who loves and pursues me, and says that even when I am unfaithful he will remain faithful because He can not deny Himself. I am captivated today by this concept of rending my heart, and as I am studying cross references in the Bible as to where God uses the word "rend" one such reference is Isaiah 57:15, I know I've read it before but in the context of Joel, and the concept of rending my heart before the Lord, it is even more beautiful and powerful..."For thus says the high and exalted One who lives forever and whose name is Holy, I dwell on a high and holy place, and also with the contrite and lowly of spirit in order to revive the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite." As I mentioned earlier, when our hearts are rendered, broken before the Lord, He comes in His power and grace to revive them. My heart being revived by the Lord is yet another of my favorite topics covered extensively in Psalm 119...
I would encourage you today, take time to pray and ask God to help you rend your heart...and lay it before Him, we all need Jesus to work in our hearts, no matter how long you've known Him, and no matter how long you've called Him savior....we need Jesus daily to refine us, and to mold us...into the image of Christ Jesus.
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