Even the Laundry!

It's no secret really...you can come to my house and glance around and you'll recognize that I enjoy cleaning.  Yes.  Cleaning...dusting, vacuuming, cleaning windows and mirrors, sweeping and even laundry.    Yes...I said it, I LIKE LAUNDRY!

I'm sure most of you are like, well good for her, but I don't.  I know...cleaning is one of those tasks that if you think about it, it's almost pointless...you sleep in the bed day after day...do you really need to make it every morning?  I mean, soon as you clean up one thing...another seems to mess right up.

Today as I was cleaning in my kitchen...I began to think...you know the everyday cleaning is not bad, I enjoy it...you get instant results...personal gratification.  Dirty surfaces become shiny and fresh..and it really isn't a ton of effort.  But that deep down "spring" cleaning....where things get taken apart...couches get moved...fridges are pulled out...and in our home..lost Legos are resurrected...well that cleaning...it just doesn't really do much for me.  It's a lot of work.

And then, I began to wonder what the Lord feels when He begins a deep cleaning in our hearts.  He doesn't back down because it's going to take awhile.  He doesn't just give up because He knows the deeper He digs...the messier it will often be.  What a patient Father we have.

"The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love."  Psalm 145:8


It's hard to get motivated to attack that Spring Cleaning, in fact, I often enlist my husband or my kids...it's easier to go at it together.  That unending list gets shorter and shorter faster and faster the more hands you've got attacking it!

It's like our walk, our journey as believers...we so easily can get discouraged...lose focus and wonder what in the world is going on here?  But God, rich in mercy, abounding in faithfulness has placed fellow Christ followers in our lives at different seasons for specific purposes..one of which I am certain is so we can sharpen one another.

"Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17

Then as I moved into the bathrooms, I began to think about sanctification.  The act of God Himself setting us apart for his own purpose.  Sometimes it's refreshing.  Honestly at times...by the grace of God I can see sin in my own life and...often I will cry out for mercy...just as the man in Luke "God have mercy on me, a sinner"  I mean...there is a tremendous weight lifted when the Lord walks us through the a battle with sin, and we emerge victorious!  That victory...and the freedom from sin is liberating...it often overwhelms and overflows my heart with gratitude and grace.  It's so amazing the grace that flows from a victorious an free heart.  Praise be to God.

In Ephesians 5, the word talks about familial relations and shows us the example of how we are to love.  Specifically...that husbands are to love as Christ did.  But what is so beautiful about this, is the way Christ's rich love is expressed....it is expressed in the very act of the Cross.  The act of literally giving Himself up for us...because of His love.  Follow me through this, I believe it will richly bless your heart.  In Ephesians 5:25-27 it says:


"just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless."

The deep cleaning, or biblically speaking...the sanctifying work of the Spirit of God in our lives...is purposed to dedicate us to the Lord. I absolutely love this about the original language of "sanctify" in this passage.  It can mean to purify....in three ways....first to cleanse externally, second to purify by expiation: free from the guilt of sin  and third to purify internally by renewing of the soul. (emphasis mine...and the third is my favorite)....this is what I'm talking about.  The Lord digs in.  He knows that the cleaning will take time, He knows the mess or in my case...messes that will surface when He begins a work in my heart...and yet...He goes for it anyway.  He also in absolute perfection, does something that not many a friend will do...He stays right by our side...in fact..not even besides us..He leads us.  He will never leave us nor forsake us...Hebrews 13:5 promises us that. 

When we emerge from that deep cleaning, that time with the Lord....our souls radiate His presence because of His great grace and faithfulness.   Our souls are renewed.  They are more likened to Christ than when we started.  Our hearts are revive according to His word...and I honestly believe that God our Father rejoices.  
Because no matter the time, no matter the mess...the result is always the same...the Lord has sanctified in our hearts Himself as Lord...He has replaced the world's lies and temptations that so easily ensare us with His truth....His truth that is living an active an absolutely sets us free.

"I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth."  3 John 1:4

A few more creaks and creases...

So, it's not a huge secret...I wear them on my face...the tiny wrinkles that surround my eyes. They've replaced the fresh smooth skin of my youth.

It's totally okay with me. Honestly, the most amazing and beautiful woman I ever knew went to be with Jesus with a face full of wrinkles.

But it is easy to look in the mirror and get discouraged. Sometimes I wonder if my husband cares about my wrinkled eyes. Although he always says I get better with age...

When I walk up the stairs my knees kind of sound like wrenches. Seriously. They don't hurt they just don't sound "new." I've definitely put some miles on them!

But today I was reading in 2 Corinthians and my heart was so refreshed by this word...


"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day." 2 Corinthians 4:16.

Why am I encouraged? Not because I've got louder knees than I used to or the tiny wrinkles that surround my eyes are any less visible...but rather because God's word is true..and in His amazing grace He renews my heart afresh each day in His word, through prayer and just because of who He is!

I hope this blesses your heart as it does mine. As the years pass and our outer bodies deteriorate God absolutely renews our heats and minds daily as we seek Him! I'm so blessed by Psalm 19:7-11

"The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple;
the precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes; the fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the LORD are true, and righteous altogether.
More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb.Moreover, by them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward."

His truth, His word...this is my
Hope! This is where my heart runs when trouble lurks when doubts come..when life overwhelms...this is the comfort I soak in, His unfailing word, glorious truth....unsurpassable strength.

I am so thankful for my Redeemer!!

Praying through it all

"First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men"  1 Timothy 2:1

I have to confess, I haven't been praying as fervently lately as I ought.  I've been praying consistently, just not fervently.  Sometimes as I've felt the Lord nudge me to pray for others, I won't stop and do it right then, sometimes I do.  I've been haphazardly approaching prayer.  It's ridiculous.  It's not okay.  As I look back on the past week's events, I realize a few things, first...I'm an idiot.  I take prayer for granted and I ought to be consistently praying without ceasing, and second....taking the time to stop and pray with a friend is often more powerful and certainly more meaningful than a hug and a pat on the back.

Here's my week in review....I'll try to be brief so as not to bore you, but I pray....that as you read you will Praise Him with me, He is amazingly wonderful and altogether worthy!  Our God is all-powerful and all-sufficient.  He supplies our needs, He creates needs we don't even know we have, and then meets them in ways we certainly could never deserve.  He is good!


6:45 pm last Sunday, I hadn't heard from Micah in a while and I thought that he and our oldest should almost be home, so I sent him a text asking if he was okay.  I didn't hear back as quickly as I normally do, which is weird, because my husband and I communicate very well.  So, after a few minutes, I felt the Lord leading me to pray for them.  So, I did...asking for protection and for them to return safely home.

7:08pm, I get a call.  "Well, we've been in an accident, and we were hit on Joseph's side of the car."

Words you DO NOT want to hear.  A long pause, and then, "He seems fine, the EMS are checking him out now...I'll call you back."

Well.  Instantly I started praying again.  Not knowing what to think.  Finally I got a call back, it was my sweet boy....I just needed to hear him speak to me, just to know he was okay.

His head his the glass and the black part that separates the rear window, and you can never be too careful with possible head injury. The EMS checked him out while Micah got his ticket and and the information he needed.  They told my husband if he mentioned his head felt funny or he became nauseated we needed to take him to the ER for a formal evaluation.

So, they piled in the crashed Civic, which was drivable...but not pretty....and headed this way.    I get a call, and my husband sounds uneasy.  He told me our son started complaining that he felt like he may throw up, and his head felt "weird."  To the ER they went.  I am SO thankful for the Lord's provision of friends.  With one text, a sweet sister in Christ was on her way over here and stayed with our youngest two so I could go and be with them at the hospital.

Before I left, she reached for my hand and  said, "Let's pray"  So, we did, me full of nerves and tears..my three year old loudly interrupting, but we prayed.

That drive to the hospital took forever.  I called my in-laws asking for prayer and then spent the rest of the silence in prayer myself.  By the time I made it to the hospital they were finishing up his CT Scan.  Within 20 minutes we were being discharged.  He was fine, just shaken up.

8:45 pm that night, we were all home.  A little shaken...but I can honestly say our hearts were overflowing with gratitude.

My husband and I got our oldest settled, they had told us to keep him up a few more hours...and then we prayed together for the Lord's mercy throughout this ordeal.  Often the accident isn't the toughest part.  It's dealing with insurance, figuring out about the car and repairs.  Injury claims, hospital bills.  

On Tuesday, my husband dropped the Civic off at the insurance body shop around 10:30.  We had no idea how long this mess would take, so we had been praying asking the Lord to work out all the details and to protect us.

By Tuesday afternoon at 4:30, we received a call.  RIP Civic.  2005-2012.  The car could not be salvaged, because though it appeared minor, the damage was substantial (frame damage).

So, now we had to hunt for a new car.   A good car isn't easy to find.  Well, okay...a good cheap car isn't easy to find. 

Wednesday at 9:30 am, we met at the insurance body repair place and received a check for our car, above and beyond anything we ever expected.  Apparently, it pays to keep the interior of your car in great shape!

We were searching all over for a good deal on a reliable older car that we could pay cash for, everyone's dream right?  Just not always a reality because they are hard to find.

Well, our dreams sometimes are outdone by God's reality.  We could not have ever imagined how the Lord would direct us to a car that wasn't even for sale, and yet...the owners  willingly sold it to us, and for less than Blue Book value and about $600 less that what we settled for with insurance.

Thursday around 5:15, we went and bought the car.  Friday at 8:30 we transferred tags and title.  Added the car to our insurance and got our rate lowered.

Then Friday afternoon, because my sweet husband had been wanting a larger TV for our bedroom, I took  took our oldest to buy one...because the Lord provided above and beyond anything we could have ever imagined.

Saturday, we took our "new" old car on a date.

And here I am....a dork who doesn't pray like I should....totally unworthy of God's blessings, and yet...He is God and He overflows His goodness and grace into my life...just because of WHO He IS!!!

This week was a whirlwind, but it was amazing.  On top of all that, we were able to teach through this with our oldest.  It was a living example of God's protection, provision and faithfulness.  It was a tremendous blessing to be able to use something so real and so "bad" in our sons' eyes...to show him the goodness of our God!!

And, thank you to all of you who read my status on facebook and stopped and prayed.  Thank you to my church family who called, emailed, texted and prayed.  Thank you to my family (be it by marriage, not blood...but stronger because of Christ) for being there to lean on and trust for prayers.  

"Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."  1 Thes. 5:16-18

Being in the habit of.....

"Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered." Hebrews 5:8

I remember reading this years ago and being so puzzled why would Jesus have to "learn" obedience. After all, He IS the Son. The perfect Son of God, so He is without sin. This is when the Greek or Hebrews is such an amazing blessing to us. I finally said okay Lord I will study this verse, I'm not getting it but I know you want to show me something from this. So I went and looked up learned in the Greek, and here's what I found..."To learn by use and practice" and/or "to be in the habit of"


Well if that doesn't rock your world! I mean, honestly. So as Christ lived His life and lived through the sufferings He faced on this earth on our behalf, He "learned" obedience, really for Him he just used and practiced perfect obedience because that is Who He is. He is perfect and He created Obedience. It is the Holy Spirit of God in me that even allows me to obey. All this got me thinking, I so many times know the right thing to do, I know what it takes to obey God and yet....I let sin reign. "Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey it's lusts." Romans 6:12 Whether it's selfishness, self righteousness, judgementalism, too much "self funneling" (as my Pastor says..we're born funnelers..we funnel everything through our own perspectives as to how things affect us and relate to us). I used to think I was being sympathetic by having a similar situation to relate to others with, ahh...how the Lord has shown me I am the worst of the funnelers!!!

God's word is clear, "Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good." Romans 12:9. Oh, how I long to love like that, just purely and for the glory of God. Truly without a thought to my sinful self and just for the good of others.

So this is (I think) what the Lord is showing me from this verse. I think I'm not that bad, I think I'm okay...but really, I need to just relax because "I'm worse than I think I am" but God has got it all under control. It's why He loves me and continually pursues my heart, because He will not leave me alone until He calls me home. So many times I know the right thing to do even in the "Suffering" and yet I fail, fall on my face and do not obey. I think the Lord doesn't want perfect vessels just 'useful' ones. That's my passion...I want to be useful for the Lord, I want to raise these beautiful boys to passionately desire to serve Him. I want to be a helpmeet to my husband that continually points him to Jesus.

I'm so excited because as the Lord continues to draw me away from being a "funneler." He persistently blesses both my husband and I with a passion to find a family ministry. No, not being a paid minister...but just actively serving and seeking Him in the body of Christ, that we could magnify Him to those who need Him!!

His word endures forever!!!

Something has been so heavy on my heart lately....it is obvious that Christianity is attacked, that people have preconceived ideas of who Christians really are....even recently with the prediction of the end of the world...to some that gives them further fuel for their fire against Christianity. It's sad really.

This morning as I was reading through Romans 9, I was so encouraged by this:
"And not only so, but also when Rebekah had conceived children by one man, our forefather Issac, though they were not yet born and had done nothing either good or bad -- in order that God's purpose of election might continue, not because of works but because of Him who calls, she was told,'the older will serve the younger.'" Romans 9:10-12

I kept thinking over and over again, praise be to God, this scripture is such a beautiful testimony of how from start to finish it is all about God, His will and His glory! I have in my life come across people who believe that they can lose their salvation. It's wrong. Biblicaly inaccurate and creates, if you will, some sort of twisted belief system that somehow salvation can be earned or maintained by human works or righteousness. This could not be farther from the truth.

This specific issue has been so heavy on my heart lately, because I failed...I feel like I failed the Lord in testifying to His truth, and I feel like I failed my friend because I did not reprove her wrong belief with the truth of Scripture. I had a friend tell me this was her belief, that she believed she could lose her salvation...and I stood there...saying nothing. I couldn't muster up any words, and I couldn't remember the exact scriptures..so rather than speaking against this wrong belief I just smiled awkwardly and finished the conversation. I've been such an idiot at times. That time was one of the biggest times, at least in my heart I felt that way. But just like God's grace covers me in light of eternity, He covers me with grace and forgiveness as I confessed this to Him. I kept praying, since that encounter, that the Lord would show me in His word another scripture...then today...sweet Romans!! "though they were not yet born and had done nothing, good or bad...."

We can't do anything. The good we do, we do through the power of the Spirit that dwells within us, we fool ourselves if we think otherwise. "Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!!" 2 Cor. 9:15

I want to encourage you ladies...God is amazing, the pages of His word are alive. Lose yourself in His perfect word...you will be transformed!! God will revive you according to His word!

"Forever, O LORD, your word is firmly fixed in the heavens." Psalm 119:89

Rest in the firm foundation of God's word!!!

"So too at the present time there is a remnant, chosen by grace. But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace." Romans 11:5-6

Grace. I don't think I can ever wrap my heart around the depths if it. As I read through Romans this morning it was as if a fresh wave of His peace was cleansing my heart. I've had alot of issues and heartaches running through my mind lately.

Dear friend, our gracious God keeps us! His goodness is beyond measure.
His word is healing! I just was so incredibly humbled by His grace. No longer works, dear one. There is nothing I could ever do to warrant salvation and yet He gave Jesus as payment for my sins!

Oh, how all too often we do not remind ourselves of the beauty of the cross.

In the quietness of my soul before the Lord, I felt His presence and His grace! I am overwhelmed by a God who lovingly pursues me! This morning, and really every morning as I come expectantly, I can testify that I see the grace of my Lord as He uses His word in my life.... "He sent forth His word and healed them, He delivered them From their destruction." Psalm
107:20.

I challenge you dear friend, just come before Him with an expectant heart. "This God is our God, forever and ever, He will be our guide even death." Psalm 48:14

He is our God! "And if God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31

I urge you, let His word daily penetrate your soul!


"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the
Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13

Gongs and Cymbals

"If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging symbol. Love is patient and kind, love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful." 1 Corinthians 13:1, 4-5, ESV

I find myself at times inappropriately responding to life's circumstances out of anger or irritability. Mostly with my kids, and not becuase they've done anything wrong necessarily, but sometimes just becuase I'm sick of all the noise...I'd like some peace and quiet...so I snap out a command "BE QUIET NOW!" What is my response? Well mostly the kids are shocked because I don't really yell...but what I find is that they often revert right back to the craziness of just being boys. As I read through this passage this morning it just hit me like a ton of bricks. Why do my children not respond to my discipline sometimes? Because I "have not love." If I am correcting them out of anger, irritability or selfishness...I have not love. My number one concern is not their heart...it is "my little world" at that moment. Obviously then, my correction sounds like a gong to my children..or clanging symbols. Loud noise. Nothing important. They aren't hearing it, and honestly why should they?

"What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Isn't it the whole army of evil desires at war within you?" James 4:1 (NLT) It's the selfishness inside me that causes me to snap off like a gong at my children. It's the mentality that "I deserve peace and quiet with three boys that are five years old and under in my home." Yes, the thought is as ridiculous as the actual written words. I've desired peace and quiet a lot more than I have honored the Lord in choosing to model a Christ like response to my childrens' noise. It's wrong and selfish...it's the "evil desires that are at war within me." Causing me to choose my self over my children. Please hear me on this, I am not advocating that a mother never needs peace and quiet, and does not need a break from her children. I believe wholeheartedly that women do need a break from their children at times, it enables them to be better mothers....and yes your home should be able to be a place of rest and respite from the world. However, young children generally play very loudly. They have no understanding of inside voices, and as much as you teach it, sometimes their energy and excitement far outweigh their awareness of their noise level. Just as I believe mothers need a break, I believe that children should absolutely obey their parents, and should respond to correction and discipline. Parents on the flip side need to be keenly aware of the motivation behind their discipline. I'm seeing more and more how often I've been a gong to my boys, and not been a loving example of the Lord.

How can I consistently be a loving example of Christ in my life, because this goes far beyond parenting, living out a life of love applies to all areas. Am I driving down the road spouting off unkind words to other drivers, who are after all, "Created in the image of God just as I myself am?" Then expecting my children not to call each other names? This is the war at it's finest.

I offer one answer, and I know you may think it's just too simple. The beauty of it all is that it really is that simple. It's just being in God's word. What do we see Christ do as He began His day? (Mark 1:35) Go off to a quiet place to pray. What should we be doing? Going to a quiet place to read, study and pray. Expectantly sit before the Lord laying down yourself and asking Him to fill your day with Him, His purpose and His grace!! He will do it! I began reading through the Pauline Epistles about 4 months ago, I never would have imagined all that the Lord was going to teach me and at what times He would teach the lessons to me. Yet each lesson, each verse has refreshed my soul in Him, it's as if His loving word is grasping my heart and saying, "My child...I will NOT let go!! I am VICTORIOUS! I will not let your flesh win the war!"

After reading and rereading through this passage this morning and just meditating on the goodness of the Lord in the Psalms and other passages...my prayer is that the Lord by His abundant grace would make me a Megaphone for Him, amplifying His grace and mercy to those around me, not a gong or a cymbal just making selfish, self righteous noise.

Being in the Habit of...

So I'm reading through Hebrews in the mornings, which since the surgery I've forsaken 5am for a little while and am doing it during morning nap time. This morning as I was reading through chapter 5, this verse kept grabbing my heart no matter how many times I read through. "Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered." Hebrews 5:8

I hope I can share what the Lord has shown me without in anyway coming across as disrespectful to our Savior. I kept wondering, am I reading this right? Jesus learned obedience? How is that possible since He knows everything anyway? Well, girls this is when the Greek or Hebrews is such an amazing blessing to us. I finally said okay Lord I will study this verse, I'm not getting it but I know you want to show me something from this. So I went and looked up learned in the Greek, and here's what I found..."To learn by use and practice" and/or "to be in the habit of"


Well if that doesn't rock your world! I mean, honestly. So as Christ lived His life and lived through the sufferings He faced on this earth on our behalf, He "learned" obedience, really for Him he just used and practiced perfect obedience because that is Who He is. He is perfect and He created Obedience. It is the Holy Spirit of God in me that even allows me to obey. All this got me thinking, I so many times know the right thing to do, I know what it takes to obey God and yet....I let sin reign. "Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey it's lusts." Romans 6:12 Whether it's selfishness, self righteousness, judgemental ism, too much "self funneling" (as my Pastor says..we're born funnelers..we funnel everything through our own perspectives as to how things affect us and relate to us). I used to think I was being sympathetic by having a similar situation to relate to others with, ahh...how the Lord has shown me I am the worst of the funnelers!!!

God's word is clear, "Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good." Romans 12:9. Oh, how I long to love like that, just purely and for the glory of God. Truly without a thought to my sinful self and just for the good of others.

So this is (I think) what the Lord is showing me from this verse. I think I'm not that bad, I think I'm okay...but really, I need to just relax because "I'm worse than I think I am" but God has got it all under control. It's why He loves me and continually pursues my heart, because He will not leave me alone until He calls me home. So many times I know the right thing to do even in the "Suffering" and yet I fail, fall on my face and do not obey. I searched through scripture for a verse to pray to the Lord because I just genuinely enjoy praying God's word back to Him, but I'm looking for a verse to pray to Him asking Him to keep me in obedience to Him. To have a pure heart (Psalm 51:10) and to desire His will in every aspect of my life. If you have one, please post it or email me or something, I'm desperate for God's word! I need it in my soul, I need it in my heart that I can cling to it and cry it out back to Him!!!

A Renovation

I think I'm in desperate need of a renovation. Not just a facial one either, where you sand down the cabinets and prime them and paint them a nice color to save some money. I think I'm at the point where I need the Lord to come in an rip out my old cabinets and all I've got stuffed way down inside them, and replace them with His perfect cabinets.

I've been studying through Romans, and I was so captivated this afternoon by Romans 8:6-7, "For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile towards God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God for it is not able to do so." I keep coming back to this, I need the Lord to strengthen me to bring the members of my body under the control of the indwelling Holy Spirit to the glory of God (Col 3:5). So I've been thinking a lot lately what my biggest struggle is. Very quickly the Lord guided me to my mind. So you may wonder well what is going on inside your mind? Well...quite frankly it's just a lot of wondering. No complete thoughts, just aimless wondering. Not discontentment but boredom. I think I think so much that my mind wonders around and gets bored. I'm failing to be fulfilled with the calling God has placed on my life right now to be a mother, and I'm getting "bored" So then what do I do? Well, usually just check the news online. Nothing crazy...or is it? I mean really, I'm failing to bring my flesh into subjection to the Lord. I'm just falling on my face and not being transformed by the renewing of my mind, because it is easier to sit in front of the computer screen during the day when I have a brief interval from the craziness of raising three young boys instead of dig into the Word and risk getting interrupted. Or to stop and take a few minutes to pray and ask the Lord to renew my strength that I may soar with my children through life, and renew my hope in the Lord that all I am doing is not for nothing, but rather of the utmost importance, by laying my life down and cultivating the soil of their souls and pointing them to Jesus at every turn. I mean, even as I sit and type that I am amazed at my sinfulness and how I could ever get "bored" in my everyday life, because I have the privilege to stay at home with these boys and influence them for Christ.

So I turned to the scriptures to see what the Lord has to say about my mind what it should be and what it shouldn't be so I can earnestly beg Him to cultivate those qualities in my heart and mind that would honor Him. I was not too surprised, but just seriously blessed! Our minds should not be depraved (Romans 1:28), in context of this verse we need to be seeking after the Lord and living thankful lives for what we have so that our minds are not depraved and we do not turn away from the Lord.....do I hear the bell? I do, what have I been doing? Instead of taking the time to redirect my thoughts when my mind starts to wonder, I look to the world, check out the weather or the news, rather than stopping and praying or reading a scripture verse, or just thanking God for what He has done in my life. My mind should also not be hostile towards God, I read in Romans 8:6-7, that the mind set on the spirit is life and peace. This blew my mind, peace in the Greek and in this verse can be stated as, "of Christianity, the tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and content with its earthly lot, of whatsoever sort that is."

How I need to embrace the earthly lot I have and not give in to the "boredom" I so easily fall prey to. Let me assure you ladies there is seldom boring times in my home, I think this is more of a state of mind, almost as if I feel like my mind should be more engaged than just pushing cars around on the floor or teaching writing to a 3 year old. Both activities are seriously important and it's the sinfulness of my heart that allows my mind to wonder and feel as though they are not important. Don't get me wrong, every mother needs a break from her kids so that she can continue to be a godly mother and honor the Lord in her responsibilities. But while I am in the midst of them, I need to be fully engaged in them.

So as I was reading what my mind should not be, I then was recalling Romans 12:2:
"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." Which tells me clearly what my mind should be!

So immediately I went to the original Greek for the meaning of renewal, because this verse makes it perfectly clear what my mind is in need of, being renewed!!! This is what I LOVE, Renewed here means, "a renewal, renovation, complete change for the better."

I started thinking about myself, my sin and the disgusting state of who I am. While I was thinking on that, I just really thought, how amazing. I need a renovation. I need the Lord to rip out, demolish the old and bring the brand new marching in! Sounds like I need to be saved doesn't it? But I already have given my heart to Christ and asked Him to live in me. I think this is working out my salvation with fear and trembling (phil 2:12). I am living proof that the flesh is a VERY real enemy, and that the battle rages on, however...I know WHO is victorious, and I am thankful for that.

I feel as though my heart has been crying out for a renovation from the Lord for quite some time now. I want the Lord to change my heart for His glory. I've been staying at home for five years now, and I am learning amazing things about myself, and even far better than that, the Lord is teaching me so much and refining me, little by little. I am grateful for a Savior Who died for me while I was yet His enemy, and refuses to leave me alone in my sin. "Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways" Romans 11:33


Are you in need of a renovation in your life as well? Be confident in this dear sister, "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil 1:6

And rest in this, God's word will not return void, so we know that we can pray His word back to Him with confidence. I would encourage you to pray along with me, I am begging the Lord to "Create in me a pure heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10. I am crying out for Him to "restore to me the joy of His salvation." I am asking that He would lead me daily, giving me the strength to die to self and live to Him for His glory.

While You're Waiting

What do you do while you are waiting on the Lord? There's a newer song out, "While I'm Waiting" and some of the lines are:

While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I've "watched" myself the last month as my husband and I have waited on the Lord for a very specific answer, I've wavered, I've failed, I've thrived and I've encouraged. I've been then man in the gospel of Mark, "I do believe; help my unbelief." Mark 9:24b I've wept before the Lord asking for forgiveness and strength to simply trust and obey...and it's been hard. See this waiting over the last month, has actually been a culmination of prayers for my husband that began over four years ago. I think when you pray for something over a period of years you start at some point to grow weary. Which is ridiculous when you look to the Word and see Who our God is! So as I wavered through such a variety of emotions from peace to nervousness, from confusion to brokenness, I wondered what does the Lord think of my ups and downs. I was and am that man, I do believe, LORD HELP my unbelief. I believe God is Sovereign and I believe even if I pray for something and I want a yes, and God gives me a no, His answer is always best, His will is always perfect and His timing is always timeless! He is God and I am NOT! I am thankful that knowing and trusting in God means that my hope and my future is secure, my circumstances here on earth will change, and I will walk through valleys and hike mountain tops, but the certainty I have in my life is solely because of Christ's accomplishment on Calvary and the more I know myself..the more thankful I am because I know the depths of my sin, and it was for my sin that He stayed on the cross! Our God is amazing.


As I was going through the ranges of emotions, ladies I have to boast in the Lord, He was SO good to me. Bringing scripture to my mind almost constantly. Jeremiah 29:11, "plans to give you a hope and a future." The precious words from 1 Peter 5:7, "Casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." And as I would pray to the Lord, the sweet words of our brother Daniel, I cried out to God, "O my God, incline Your ear and hear! Open Your eyes and see our desolations and the city which is called by Your name; for we are not presenting our supplications before You on account of any merits of our own, but on account of Your great compassion. "O Lord, hear! O Lord, forgive! O Lord, listen and take action! For Your own sake, O my God, do not delay, because Your city and Your people are called by Your name." Daniel 9:18-19

The Lord in His graciousness even brought me to some amazing new verses, He is so good! I fell in love with this verse from Psalm 138:8, "The LORD will accomplish what concerns me; Your lovingkindness, O LORD, is everlasting; Do not forsake the works of Your hands." It was just time after time of assurance that whatever answer God had my for my husband and I and our family, the answer would be completely perfect, and I had to rest in that. I have been enveloped by God's kindness, graciousness, goodness and love. It, has been steady and firm. God Himself never changes...and I've been humbled to the point of complete brokenness before Him as I've seen how incredibly disgusting I am as a sinner. I waver, I change, I sin, I go from praises to despair. What I am seeing more and more clearly daily is the reality of Romans 3:10 in my life, "as it is written, "THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE"

I think sometimes as Christians we get away from an "Attitude of Gratitude" as one of my past Sunday school teachers once said. I want to run the race and finish strong...more importantly in my every day life I long to savor the moments, and live in them living them out in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ (Phil. 1:27). I want to behave and live in a manner that shows people my citizenship is in heaven (Phil 3:20). But I can not do that, only God in me can, by the power of the Holy Spirit! I am so grateful for His sacrifice and so thankful that the God of all the universe uplifts me when I fail, and forgives me. I'm so thankful that as I've been nervous or anxious lately..or struggled with my thoughts, entertaining the "what ifs" that God in His abundant mercy has consistently brought His word to my mind. Ladies, I want to encourage you to embrace your identity, and it's so simple:

"See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and {such} we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him." 1 John 3:1

Hold fast to the word of God DIVE into it daily, seriously look into investing into a smaller sized bible so you can always carry one with you, and savor the 10 minutes you have in the car line as a gift from God to have extra time in His word with Him!

Ladies I have to testify to the Lord, He has put His word in my heart and He has brought it to my remembrance as I desperately needed it. "But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you." John 14:26 The Lord has done this in my heart so incredibly over the course of this "waiting" I'm more in love with Him today because of the waiting. Was the waiting easy? Well, looking back yeah relatively...but going through it no, at times it was very hard.

Funny thing is, as I started this blog, we had not yet heard an answer...I was still waiting...and now...at the close of this entry, God has spoken, He has shown us His answer. I'm praising Him for it, trusting Him for the outcome. The answer given us ensures that the next few years will be filled with ups and downs and a fervency in prayer that will draw our family closer to Him. I'm thankful for it all. God is good and His will is perfect! I am just so very grateful that the Lord Himself allows me to know Him, and to know that every single little detail rests in His hand and Christ is at the throne as my advocate praying for me (1 John 2:1), for all His children...Christ is sustaining me!

Ladies, as you wait on Him, try to rest in Him, if you find yourself anxious...draw on His word, pray it back to Him, lay it down at His feet. Moment by moment. I think that God desires our hearts above all, even if that means a constant surrender moment by moment to His will.

* all Scripture is from the New American Standard

Living Differently

I just read through Titus this afternoon and as I was reading the Lord just spoke to me through these verses, "For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age." Titus 2:11-12

Ladies when we look around our world today we see so many evidences of people striving to be "different" or to be individuals. It's sometimes sad, sometimes frightening, and at other times just weird. But then when I think with the right heart (one surrendered to the Lord) I see people desperate for an identity. They want so much to be identified as something or someone. Most of the time people need Jesus. He gives us an identity that can not be shaken. I can honestly say I'm sick of hearing "well they say they are Christians but it doesn't mean anything." Why doesn't it? Because the divorce rate within the church is the same as the divorce rate on the "outside" of the church. Because the gossip and judgment passed on believers by believers is downright scary. Because the lack of unity and focus on Christ causes us to look at ourselves almost continually and evaluate ourselves by some skewed standard that does not hold even the slightest candle to the standard God has. I remember growing up and not being raised in the church, I always thought Christians were different, and I remember at the young age of 21, a lady at church responded to a question stating, "Christians are absolutely no different than non-Christians" There may be a lot of truth to that, in that we are still sinners just as unbelievers are. But I believe that saying there is no difference, seriously belittles Christ's accomplishment on Calvary. Seeing as Christ Himself is the Only difference, I'd say we have an eternal difference. We have within us the LIVING God who empowers us to live soberly in this present age.

I was pondering what it means to be different, to live soberly in this present age...and the Lord sweetly reminded me of His words in Romans 12, and as I turned there in my Bible, how neat, the subtitle for the verses was "Behave like a Christian" I think so many times we have ideas or presuppositions as to what the Christian life looks like, that we fail to run to the timeless word of God and seek from Him what it looks like. Romans 12:9-21

Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord. "BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.


I don't know about you, but as I read that, I see something different, I see a list of characteristics that are humanly unattainable, and yet by the power of the Holy Spirit living within me, which God Himself supplies (gal. 3:5) I know that I can daily die to self and pick up the Cross of Christ, allowing my sinful self to be crucified along with its' desires and passions and I can wholly rest in the loving arms of my Savior to transform me. Lately God has been working in my heart, the intense desire to be transformed. I keep crying out to Him, "Lord please do not let me be conformed to the world, but rather transform me by renewing my mind." I have been begging the Lord to transform me, and to transform several ladies in my life that I know need Jesus. See I have the privilege of crying out for salvation for my family. My mother and my sister so so need Christ, my stepmother as well. I have always counted it a privilege to be able to beseech God on their behalf, and I pray that one day in my lifetime God will draw them unto Himself and I will see them come to rest in Him, and if not in my lifetime, maybe one day...I'll see them in heaven. God can do the impossible!!

I want to live soberly (being of sound mind) within this world, using God's word alone to judge my thoughts and intentions, and relying upon Christ to lead my steps...daily. I want Christ to parent through me, I want Christ to love my spouse through me, I want to be the wife, mother, fried, sister that seeks to bring honor and glory to God above all else. I am desperate for a revival ladies. I know of too many people going through painful circumstances be it divorce, adultery or just other nasty sin, where they have yielded to the flesh and yet name the Name above all others, Jesus. Would you join me in praying for a transformation, first in yourself, then in others (me especially). Let us as women of Christ, beg the Lord to revive our hearts according to His Word (Psalm 119) and renew within us a steadfast spirit to seek Him, to honor Him, to PRIORITIZE Him. Ladies, living for Christ is different. You will be different, you may lose some friends, you may gain some friends....you may get some weird looks from the kiddos at times..but remember on that day, you'll answer to God by yourself....just as I will....and we must live soberly in this present age to His glory. Only by the power of the Holy Spirit, can we live and behave as a Christian, a true child of God. I want to radically live as a disciple of Christ, I want people to see Jesus in me because I know that there are way too many people in this world that need Him, starting with (for me) my children and my mother, sister and stepmother. Ponder the word of the Lord ladies, let us meditate upon it so that it is woven into the very fiber of our beings. That as we live our lives, what proceeds from out mouths is His word because it is so hidden in our hearts.

I don't know who reads or follows my blog, but I hope that at some point some sweet ladies needing Jesus stumble upon it and see Him....He is good, He is amazing, He is transforming, He reaches down to wherever you are, and snatches you out of the pits of despair and saves you from eternal separation from God...Jesus went to the cross, knowing me and knowing my sins, my repeated offenses, my stubbornness, my shame..He knew it all, and still went!! He knew people would deny Him, and yet He still went to the Cross. I am amazed and humbled by our Savior. This is Jesus who gave His life while we were still enemies of His.

I beg of you dear sisters, let us live differently, let us live for Jesus!

Jesus alone is truth!!!

I was reading again this afternoon in Galatians, and I am feeling like my mind is being blown wide open by the awesomeness of our God. Do you know what I mean? It's like I'm reading His word....I'm grasping it as best my finite sinful mind can, and at the same time I feel like it's completely blowing me out of the water, because who am I that the Lord would reveal Himself to me in such amazing and intimate ways? Our Lord is so magnificent. Specifically I was reading chapter 4, and I am only going to copy a portion on here for you to read through, I myself got seriously lost studying verses 8-16.

"I beg of you, brethren, become as I am, for I also have become as you are. You have done me no wrong; but you know that it was because of a bodily illness that I preached the gospel to you the first time; and that which was a trial to you in my bodily condition you did not despise or loathe, but you received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus Himself. Where then is that sense of blessing you had? For I bear you witness that, if possible, you would have plucked out your eyes and given them to me. So have I become your enemy by telling you the truth?" Galatians 4:12-16

Another one of my heart's desires is to be truthful. I don't know if that is somewhat influenced by my upbringing, where the divorce of my parents was just engulfed in dishonesty and thus the Lord has put a passion in my heart for always being truthful, or if it's part of my personality, in addition to the most basic of convictions that I obey the Lord in His command, "nor lie to one another" Lev. 19:11.
I've been asked some tough questions lately, and the truth has been so hard to speak, but it must be spoken. Tempered of course by the love of Christ, and of course as I'm asked tough questions, I first seek to filter my responses through scripture. I beg the Lord to take away my personal opinions and judgments, and fill me with His Spirit that as I speak to others I would encourage them and point them to Jesus, and His Word, the only truth we have to cling to in this mad world we call earth.

So as I was reading through Galatians today, chapter four, the Lord just really blessed my soul with His word. Immensely would be an understatement. My precious Bible has subtitles (thank you Jesus) I love them, they often help me pick up on themes that I may not otherwise. The subtitle for Galatians 4:8-20, is "Fears for the church." Keep in mind dear sister, this is Paul's' letter to the church at Galatia, and here he is so clearly showing his passion for the believers at Galatia to really apply the truth of the gospel. He is fearful that they may fall away, "But now after you have known God, or rather are known by God, how is it that you turn again to the weak and beggarly elements, to which you desire to be in bondage?" Galatians 4:8. Paul is concerned that believers here in Galatia (and this is so applicable for us today) have fallen back into being preoccupied with the things of the world and have rather turned to the "weak and beggarly elements" I love his language here. Weak and beggarly, the things we so often turn to are weak, without strength or power and yet in our fallen state we succumb to them and give them power over us! Ladies they are WEAK, they are beggarly...they beg for our attention. These words "weak" and "beggarly" refer to (in the original language) the basic and fundamental things...such as rituals of human religions, basic things of life (like the letters of the alphabet). These things are so weak, and yet many times we become the weak willed woman and succumb to them. We must rise above, and first fervently seek God in His word DAILY!!! Then we should pair ourselves with a Christian brother (our spouse) or sister that we can count on to point us again to Jesus, and to speak truth to us no matter what.


I love Paul's words here, "Have I therefore become your enemy because I tell you the truth?" Gal. 4:16 Ladies you and I both need a friend that we can run things by that we know will speak truth, God's truth to us in love. I do not want to fall to the weak and beggarly things of this world, I want to be able to turn to my spouse, or my best friend and question things, and know without a doubt that they will point me straight to Jesus. I want to be sharpened as iron sharpens iron by the word of God. Through my husband, my friends, my children...whomever the Lord chooses to use...I just want it done.

I pray ladies, that we would seek to ask questions that honor Him, that will help us in our pursuit of Him, and will guide us in renewing our minds, and that we would expect that though the answers might not always be easy to stomach, we would be prepared for the truth that comes from those who love the Lord. I know in my life I've asked a lot of dumb questions, I've asked a lot of questions that I didn't think I'd get an answer to, I've asked questions that when I got the answer I was floored, and then sadly there have been times when I've asked questions and have not been given a truthful answer. I just want the truth. I keep thinking that phrase, "Just give me Jesus" Jesus alone is the Way the Truth and the Life. Of course as a believer He gives us a passion for His truth! It's a passion for Him!!!

Let's ask the Lord to renew within us a steadfast spirit as David did in Psalm 51:10, let's ask our God to create within us a pure heart again as David did in Psalm 51:10, let's be on our faces before the Lord and beg Him to supply the strength to live before Him holy and blameless, through the power of the Holy Spirit. O Ladies, how I long for us to learn, grow and be transformed....


"Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God." Col. 3:16

keeping our foolish selves in check

I was reading through Galatians again this afternoon, I'm so loving how the Lord has kept me in this Pauline Epistle longer. It seems as I'm digging into it, the Lord is teaching me SO much, and lovingly refining me. I recently have had the privilege also of getting a new Bible. I'm thrilled. Honestly this is a HUGE ordeal for me. A new Bible to me is like a new car for some people. I spent a long time on the Internet researching and went to godly friends (okay...one) and asked advise and opinions on newer Bibles, since the last time I got one was over 7 years ago. After gathering all the information I could, and praying about it I felt the Lord leading me to get the MacArthur study bible in the NKJ Version. I am so richly blessed by God's timeless word, I have no words for it. That said, there are times as I'm reading through a "new" version that I feel as if I reading the scriptures for the first time. I have to admit it's inspiring and convicting all over again, and I love it. Almost as if I'm a new believer all over again with that fire and passion to read without regard to life around me, but rather to get so lost in the pages of Scripture that I can imagine myself there with our brothers and sisters. So as I was reading through Galatians 3 this afternoon, the Lord in His kindness has allowed me to meditate upon 3:3. "Are you so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are you now being made perfect by the flesh?"

Are you sitting down? Because thankfully I was when I read this. I mean it's so obvious how self reliant we become as believers. We just slowly begin to think we've got it under control, we know the "Christian drill" so we almost get on auto pilot sometimes. Then as life happens, and things are tough, we unfortunately act like idiots, we begin to act as if the very sinful flesh that condemns us to death is now somehow able to make us perfect, or at the very least keep to some man made standard that will somehow allow us in our own sinful strength to honor God. Apart from God we can do nothing!!! We can not even pray, thanks be to God for His indwelling Holy Spirit. I love Mac Arthur's note on this verse, "The notion that sinful, weak, fallen human nature could improve on the saving work of the Holy Spirit was ludicrous to Paul" That notion should be just as ludicrous to us as well! Our lives should be a conduit of God's unending grace so that others around us know in every aspect of our lives we are consumed with the One who created us in His image, so that in all things He lives through us, "for it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life I live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." (Gal. 2:20)

Going further into chapter 3, in verse 5, Paul says, "Therefore He who supplies the Spirit to you and works miracles among you, does He do it by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith?"

It is the faith, given to us by God that allows us to believe in Him. Ladies this is remarkable. God has done it all, over and over again we must come to the end of ourselves and continually rely upon the God of all the universe who supplies to Spirit to us. I love the words of Paul here, it is HIM who supplies the Spirit. I do not want to continue in my own foolishness, I do not want any confidence in the flesh. I realize the more I learn the more I need to be changed, I realize the more I get frustrated with people or things, the more I need to sit quietly, I need to live out Psalm 46:10 and cease striving, and know that in it all He IS God!!! We all need to. Ladies we must stop giving allowances to our sinful flesh, we must not make provision for sin, and must continually turn to the One who can save us from our own sinful flesh, and daily, hourly, moment by moment if need be, rely on the God who saves us, and who supplies us with His Spirit, that we would not rely on our foolish selves, but rely on the sinless, perfect Savior who laid His life down on Calvary, so that we could name His name.

Cry out to your Savior dear sister, ask Him for an insatiable hunger for His word, and passion for prayer and a continually daily reliance upon the Living God for His Spirit to live in you and bring glory and honor to Him. I believe in my heart, ladies that if we would be so concerned with our own reliance upon God that we beg for His Spirit to lead us moment by moment we would begin to see a radical transformation within the body of Christ, as christian women rise up, and humble ourselves before God, seeking to please Him first, and just resting in His word we will see God Himself work a transformation in us that will bring Him glory....and isn't that what it's all about anyway ladies? Giving God the glory!!!

O, Lord that you would keep the foolishness of my sinful flesh far from me, and supply Your Spirit to me daily to honor You!!!

"His favor is for life"

"But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother's womb and called me through His grace, to reveal His Son in me, that I might preach Him among the Gentiles, I did not immediately confer with flesh and blood, nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me; but I went to Arabia, and returned again to Damascus." Galatians 1:15-17

I began reading through Galatians this morning and just couldn't get past these verses. I wanted to stop and meditate on this for some time. These few verses are so loaded with truth! I love God's word. Ever wonder what you are supposed to do with your life? Right now I'm in the midst of raising three young boys, my oldest will head to K5 in the fall and my youngest will be turning one within a few months. It truly amazes me that I am a mother and sometimes I muse over what to do next. The past five years my life has been completely consumed with having and raising children. It will always be that way, I've been assured, just in different ways. However, as I'm looking to the future and my children entering school I've started to ponder what on earth will I do for a job? In my mind I can't just sit at home all day..but I want to be home when they get home, for spring breaks, summers...the list goes on and on..and I realize, going back to work isn't some flippant decision simply because my children are school age. I've been praying for about five years now, asking God to show me what to do for a vocation once the children are in school. It's so interesting to me as I'm reading through Paul's words, that God quiets my questions and reveals the simplicity of my existence is really just that I would live out the call I have on my life as a child of the King.

Specifically Paul was called to preach to the Gentiles, and God revealed that to him almost immediately, but what I love in these verses is that Paul shares with us, after God revealed Christ to him, saved him, and revealed what Paul was to do with his life (his call) Paul did not immediately run to "flesh and blood" and he shares that he did not immediately run to Jerusalem (which at this point in history was where most of the apostles were, so as to be instructed by them) but rather Paul traveled solo and spent time with the Lord to be prepared for service. I know in my heart that the Lord has called me to minister to fellow believers in the context of 1 Thessalonians 3:2, "to establish and encourage you concerning your faith." My heart's desire is to see believers in Christ grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord, and see believers let the word of Christ dwell richly in them (Col. 3:16). It is a passion within me that I can not quench. I believe with all my heart that God can transform absolutely anyone and can change anyone's life for His glory, I've lived Him doing this in my life. I'm amazed by His mercy and seriously humbled by His grace in ways that I can not even wrap my mind around because He IS God. Being certain of this call that the Lord put on my life about ten years ago, I've waited...sometimes patiently sometimes not..waiting on the Lord to see how He would allow me to minister to His people. I'm excited to see what the future holds and how the Lord uses me. I am praying that the Lord would marry the passion He has given me for sisters in Christ with a vocation one day, but if He does not, I know that no matter what He calls me to, in everything I must seek to honor Him with all that I am and bring glory to His Name doing even the most mundane things in life. Am I any closer to knowing what "job" I'll find when my children are all in school? Well...no..not one bit. I do however know without a doubt that that answer belongs to the Lord and He will reveal it in His perfect time, and I know that no matter what job if any I have...God has been pleased to reveal His Son in me that I might make His Name known and give Him the glory for all that He is and does.

I would encourage you dear sisters, to be on your face before the Lord, and to beg the Lord to give you a hunger and thirst for His righteousness. If you're at all like me and wonder what you are to do with your life, and how you are to serve Him...ask Him. When He reveals it to you, maybe like Paul...keep it to yourself for awhile..ponder it, meditate on things and seek the Lord for the training. He will give it, that I can promise!! It is truly a blessing how the Lord Himself has given me a fervent passion to be His student. Over and over again God confirms to me that He alone is the prefect Teacher. He confirms in my heart my depravity and Christ's perfection. He leads me to His word, and allows me to seek Him at the foot of the cross. God is so gracious, He has called us all to something, to do something for His glory. Whether being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, daughter-in-law, employee, teacher, disciple-maker. Whatever the "title" or "roll" is, God wants us to seek Him for the strength and rely on Him for the grace to let the call come to fruition.

Remember, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you." Jeremiah 1:5 I think about how as women the joy we experience when we discover we are carrying a child, and yet...to think the Lord Himself has known us before we ever were even formed in our mothers' wombs. It's so humbling to think of the knowledge of the Lord.

Let us seek the Lord's call on our lives. Join me in asking Him to reveal to each one of us what He has created us to do and then ask Him how we will live that out. We must rely on the Holy Spirit to guide and direct us each day and rest in the Sovereign arms of the Almighty.

Ladies, God is good! He IS truth. He is our all in all. He is matchless!! Let us echo the words of David before the Lord, "I will extol You, O Lord, for You have lifted me up, and have not let my foes rejoice over me O Lord, my God, I cried out to You, and You healed me. O Lord, You brought my soul up from the grave, You have kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit. Sing raise to the LORD, you saints of His, and give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name. For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:1-5

Pressed in a steady direction

If the love of Christ is pressing us on every side it will eventually point us in one steady direction. The love of Christ will lead us and so manifest itself in our lives that it will not only guide us towards Jesus in our daily walks but also grab the attention of others as they watch our lives and see who we are living for. Thus it will be that very love of Christ compelling us that will land our hearts before Him in His word daily seeking His will and His guidance as to how to live in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ (Phil 1:27) And as we are living by the love of Christ we can be assured that we will also be pressed on every side by the troubles of this world in an attempt to be thwarted by the enemy. As I was musing over being pressed on every side. The Lord brought to my mind the verse in 2 Corinthians 4:8, “We are hard pressed on every side, we are perplexed but not in despair; persecuted but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.” Which goes right along with the assurance that we will be in battle as we are trying to live a life compelled by the love of Christ. We are going to battle two 'things' first the sinful flesh that confines us until heaven and second the devil. We must be victorious in these battles. In and of ourselves we can not be victorious over anything, but rather our victory lies in the cross of Christ. We must combat the enemy of sinful flesh by this, “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.” Ro 13:14 And then we must, “Submit therefore to God, Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” James 4:7

The word of God gives us much hope, it tells us we will be hard pressed on every side (this pressed is not the same as in 2 Cor 5:14) although it is similar in meaning the context tells us it is referring to the trials that will come our way. And as we read that we will be hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down the victory that Christ Himself gives us is that we will not be in despair...we are never without HOPE! We will not be forsaken, Christ will NEVER leave us (heb 13:5). We will not be destroyed, Christ Himself protects us and no matter what may happen to us on earth when we belong to Him we will not be destroyed because we have a heavenly home that awaits us based on the blood of the Lamb.

As I've been reflecting on being pressed on every side by the love of Christ, I've been searching through the scriptures and finding that as God speaks of being pressed He shows us that it is His love and His sacrifice that guides our hearts towards Him. It is His infinite grace the makes provision for us to be kept by Him. He guides us and directs us towards Him. Putting on the Lord Jesus as in Romans 13:14 is much like being pressed on every side by the Love of Christ. Being guided as a ship through a strait into a narrow channel. Surrendering our lives to the love of our Lord that we can be guided through a narrow channel (Matthew 7:13). Being compelled to live by the love of Christ. Being compelled to be a wife, mother, sister, friend, aunt, child of God that honors and glorifies God as a result of the love of Christ within you! I'd encourage you to begin praying the words in 1 Thessalonians 3:12, “And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love to one another and to all, just as we do to you, so that He may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father at the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ with all His saints.” Beg God to increase and overflow His love within you for your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your co-workers....the lost!! Ask Him to give you His love for the world around you to His glory and watch Him change your heart!

Be pressed on every side by the love of Christ

For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him, who died for them and rose again. 2 Corinthians 5:14

Does that take your breath away? Oh I hope it does, I hope it makes your heart skip a beat! That as a believer in Christ, it should be nothing more and nothing less than the perfect love of a sinless Savior that utterly controls us! His love, that while we were yet sinners He died for us. Once for all....for the Jew and Praise the Lord, the Gentile too, for that is what I am.

I've been reading through God's word lately, and it's been amazing. I'm seeing the Holiness of God in an incredible new light. At the same time I'm seeing the depths of my depravity as a testimony to the utter perfection of my Savior. Just when I think I'm finally getting "good" the Lord in His unending kindness, peels back another layer of my sinfulness and exposes my intense need for Him. He is doing it through His word and prayer. I'm finding myself lately utterly disgusted by myself, and utterly amazed that the God of all creation would die for me. And as God has been lovingly revealing all this to me, I've been pondering many things. I've certainly been questioning my motives a lot lately. Why do I do things? Am I doing things to solely honor God? Am I picking and choosing what I want to obey because I know that in some things obedience is the hard thing, and I don't think I'm up for the challenge (as if I can obey in my own strength anyway). It's only because of the Lord's irresistible grace that I continue in His word daily and in prayer. And the Lord brought me back to His word in 2 Corinthians, where He says it is the LOVE of Christ that COMPELS us! It is solely the love of God that compels believers. In the original language, compels means to press on every side, to hold together. So it is God's love that presses me on every side, it is His love that holds me together, in seeking Him. Seeking first His kingdom and His righteousness (Mt. 6:33). It is the love of Christ within me that gives me the humility to ask my five year old to forgive me when I've wronged him because of my own selfishness, it's the love of Christ that gives me the grace to apologize to my husband when I've been wrong even though every ounce of sinful pride does not want to apologize. It's the love of Christ that compels me to be a good friend to others even when I feel like I haven't got a "good" friend in the world. It's the love of Christ that allows me to feel all alone so that I stop looking to the world or to other people and turn to the only One who is worthy of all the honor and glory in all the world. It is the love of Christ that awakens me everyday to the vibration of my cell phone and pursues me to seek Him in His word! It is the love of Christ that saved my soul from an eternity of separation from God. It is the love that Christ has for me, for my husband and for my children, that by His grace indwells me because of His Holy Spirit, so that I may name His name, and desire to do what is pleasing in His sight.

Ladies it must be the love of Christ that compels you on every front, first and above all in seeking Him. Then the Lord will add unto that, He will make it clear to you what your passion is and gifts are. Whether it be being an amazing wife and mother, an amazing sister, a compassionate friend. Whatever gifts God has uniquely given you, He has given you for one purpose...to bring His name glory on this earth! Which you will do by using that gift where He has placed you in your life, amongst your family and friends, the cashier at the grocery store or the beautician at the hair salon. God has given you a passion and a gift to use for His glory. Get into His word and learn of His matchless love that you can be held together by it! Then go and live it!

To God be the glory!

I read this this morning:

Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole Roman cohort around Him. And the stripped Him, and put a scarlet robe on Him. And after weaving a crown of horns, they put it on His head, and a reed in His right hand; and they kneeled down before Him and mocked Him, saying, "Hail Jesus King of the Jews!" And they spat on Him, and took the reed and began to beat Him on the head. And after they mocked Him, they took His robe of and put His garments on Him, and led Him away to crucify Him. Matthew 27:27-31 NAS

Dear sisters, this is Our Lord! This is OUR Savior! If you name the name of Jesus, this is what He who created you endured for you. The passage above is just the beginning of His crucifixion. He endured quietly the treatment above to save YOUR soul from Hell, eternal separation from Him. Let us choose then, while we can on this earth to SEEK Him daily. I hope you can tell by now from following my blog that the Lord alone has given me an intense passion for women to embrace bible literacy and application. Please DO NOT MISS this, ladies. God has written His word to teach us about Himself, He is the great Teacher! Christian books, blogs, bible studies all these things are wonderful supplements that the Lord has allowed in our culture, but NONE can take the place of the Scriptures. The Scriptures are all sufficient and in His word we will find an amazing Savior who endured the crown of thorns, was beat on His head by a reed and spat on by those who rejected Him, that one day we can stand before Him and not be rejected!

As I read this this morning, I was mindful of the fact that Christ endured this because through and through I am a sinner. Even as I am being sanctified daily by Him, I am still a sinner, and will never be made perfect until He calls me home. Thus, I should be constantly seeking Him, in His word because His word is "living and active and sharper than any two edged sword piercing as far as the division of the soul and the spirit, both of joins and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart." Hebrews 4:12. If we are not in His word, we will not rightly judge our thoughts and intentions, we will not know whether our motives are pure, because Romans 3:10, "There is none righteous, not even one" (NAS). I am saved by His infinite grace, and if you name the name of Christ you are too...but that doesn't mean we are to stop at salvation and just let it ride. We are to passionately pursue Him, we are to cry out to God to bless us with an insatiable hunger for Him, His word and prayer. God wants us to desire Him, He created us to desire Him. Over and over in my life I go back to a quote by John Piper, "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." How can we be truly satisfied in Him if we are not in His word? How can we awaken to the amazing love story of our Lord in the pages of scripture, and humble ourselves before Him if we are not seeking to know Him through His word? How can we expect God to change our situation or circumstances if we are not willing to seek Him and know Him, that we would live a life worthy of the gospel of Christ (Phil. 1:27) being mindful that our citizenship is in Heaven (Phil. 3:20).

Ladies...SET YOUR alarm! Get up before the kids or stay up past them, DO WHATEVER IT TAKES to be in the Word of God. Meet daily with your Savior! Not out of tradition or habit but out of LOVE. We are to "love the Lord our God" love Him and know Him. I've been thinking a lot about this, I would not have married my spouse having only spent 10 minutes a day with him for a few years. I wouldn't have known him well enough, and yet so many of us ask Jesus into our lives, which is by far a more important decision than accepting a marriage proposal, and fail to give Him at least 10 minutes a day. Another challenge for us as women is found in Deut. 6:6-7, as mothers we are commanded, "These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up." How then can you teach your sons diligently if you do not know the word of God yourself? Your children will learn how to apply God's word by seeing you live it out for yourself.

Sisters...He was mocked for you and I, He endured for you and I. He went to the cross to redeem us, unworthy sinners in desperate need of a Worthy, Holy and Perfect Savior. He set out resolutely for Jerusalem with the knowledge of our souls in His mind. He knew we absolutely needed Him to endure what was before Him, and He did. He endured it, and was gloriously resurrected that we can call Him Savior, and so we sinners can, "see how great LOVE the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called the children of God; and such we are." 1 John 3:1

Sinking into Him

I've been reading through Romans lately and am just incredibly challenged by the guidelines for authentic Christian living that God lays out. I've been repentant at times, rejoicing at others and just so humbled at other times throughout the first 13 chapters. Does your Bible have those subtitles for chapters? Well mine does, and the little title over chapter 12 is "dedicated service" Specifically verses 9-21 outline for us what our lives are to look like as believers. It's always a struggle, as Paul says in 7:19-24, "For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?"

I've been reading a lot about what my life should be as a believer lately...I think in my "inner man" there is this struggle that Paul describes, and I keep coming back to this, "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not." Ro. 7:18 I've almost been feeling bogged down by this struggle because at times it seems like there is no 'end' in sight. Which really there isn't because we will never "get it" we will never be "complete" until the Lord takes us home, and I think sometimes it's easy to accept a mindset of mediocrity..although that is most definitely not what we are called to. I think in Revelation how the Lord says, 'So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth. " Revelation 3:16. Then this morning as I was again reading through Romans, the Lord gave me the answer to how I am to live out the life He has called me to, "But put on the LORD Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regards to its lusts." Romans 13:14. I love to word study, I love the Greek and Hebrew the richness of these two languages really exceeds that of the English language (in my opinion) so I went to the concordance and found this...put on means to sink into, or to clothe oneself with. So, essentially Paul says to us, "But sink into the Lord Jesus......clothe oneself with the Lord Jesus." And when he says provision, it means "make no forethought or providential care for" So we are to make no forethought or providential care for the flesh in regards to its desire for what is forbidden (lusts).

As I'm daily wrestling with the struggle of doing what I ought and not doing what I should not, I'm incredibly encouraged that the answer of course is in Christ...to put on the LORD Jesus to sink into Him and to clothe myself with Him. How can I do that without knowing Him? And how can I know Him without being in the word? "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word WAS God." John 1:1 (emphasis mine) I have to have this passion for the word that I expect God to teach me, even as I'm reading through Leviticus, and that laws of motherhood, I have to expectantly come before the LORD and cry out the words in Jeremiah 33:3, "Call to Me and I will answer you and teach you great and unsearchable things you do not know." I have to believe in my heart that God is and will teach me through every penned word that He inspired. I feel like sometimes as reading God's word is routine (as it should be, not out of duty but rather out of delight, and passionate pursuit of the One who laid His life down for ours) it can become commonplace...it can become almost stale...not because of anything other than my own sinful mindset. Lately I've had to call out to God and beg Him to renew within me a steadfast spirit, as David did in Psalm 51:10. I need so desperately to daily SINK INTO the Lord Jesus..to allow Him to captivate my thoughts to obedience to Him. Does that mean I do not have the freedom to do all the things my flesh wants to do, absolutely. It means sometimes I don't even turn the computer on til noon, and even then maybe I turn it off immediately so I don't get carried away on cnn.com or facebook or something silly like that so as to live out, "no solider in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him." 2 Timothy 2:4. I should not be so far removed from the world that I can not know what is going on so that I will actively PRAY for our world, but I should not be so involved that my thoughts are captive to what is going on around me, but rather that my heart and mind are actively aware of the Holy Spirit's presence in my life and His leading so as to glorify God with the life He has given me. Again, I have to sink into the Lord Jesus by seeking Him in prayer and His word. What a delight it is to get to know the One who created me, ordained my days and the days of my children, and who is carrying out a good work in me until completion for His glory!

I'm praying for us...sisters in Christ (the mothers, daughters, sisters and friends of this world) to stand firm in His word, to sink into Him, trusting Him to lead and guide our hearts to His word daily, not out of ritual or just so that we can say we read God's word, but out of a passionate heart yearning to know Him and do His will.

Basketball "try-outs"

Okay...I just took my oldest son, Joseph 4 1/2 to basketball "try-outs" for upward basketball....so I use the term try-out loosely...it was really just an evaluation and they'll call me next week to let me know what team he'll be on...but as he was at the shooting station I just about lost it and started crying. I mean, here is my sweet baby....he's not a baby...but he's my first born...something unique about them isn't there? He was trying to make a basket with all his might, and he wasn't compromising on his form, I was so proud of him. You see, I played ball for about 12 years and then I had the privilege of coaching for about 3 years...and it is the most amazing thing I've done outside of being a wife and mother.

I wonder....how often do I compromise my "form" in my christian walk....I"m just reflecting on what I saw tonight in my son, and I was so touched by him, at 4 1/2 shooting an adult size basketball at a goal that was regular height, he stood there, tall and proud, and shot just like I had taught him...perfect form...and he kept missing...but the shot was perfectly missed...if that makes sense. Then he'd get frustrated and chuck it up there, he'd miss way worse...I'd watch the helper run and duck...it was hilarious really. But then he'd revert back to proper form and it was dead on...just a few feet short every time. It completely parallels my life...I mean I know the right thing to do, like Paul in Romans, and yet sometimes I do not do it, but I do the thing which I hate the most. I'm going to start praying that God would guide my form in my walk...I wonder if as He watches me live and try to live for Him, if I ever make Him proud like my son made me tonight. It wasn't that arrogant pride...it was the overwhelming amazement of what my little boy was doing....and his perseverance in doing it....no matter how many times he messed up. I guess that's it really...pressing on toward the goal of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Phil 3:14).

O Lord how i want that....give me the grace to press on...these years are tough, but God is faithful.