Gongs and Cymbals

"If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging symbol. Love is patient and kind, love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful." 1 Corinthians 13:1, 4-5, ESV

I find myself at times inappropriately responding to life's circumstances out of anger or irritability. Mostly with my kids, and not becuase they've done anything wrong necessarily, but sometimes just becuase I'm sick of all the noise...I'd like some peace and quiet...so I snap out a command "BE QUIET NOW!" What is my response? Well mostly the kids are shocked because I don't really yell...but what I find is that they often revert right back to the craziness of just being boys. As I read through this passage this morning it just hit me like a ton of bricks. Why do my children not respond to my discipline sometimes? Because I "have not love." If I am correcting them out of anger, irritability or selfishness...I have not love. My number one concern is not their heart...it is "my little world" at that moment. Obviously then, my correction sounds like a gong to my children..or clanging symbols. Loud noise. Nothing important. They aren't hearing it, and honestly why should they?

"What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Isn't it the whole army of evil desires at war within you?" James 4:1 (NLT) It's the selfishness inside me that causes me to snap off like a gong at my children. It's the mentality that "I deserve peace and quiet with three boys that are five years old and under in my home." Yes, the thought is as ridiculous as the actual written words. I've desired peace and quiet a lot more than I have honored the Lord in choosing to model a Christ like response to my childrens' noise. It's wrong and selfish...it's the "evil desires that are at war within me." Causing me to choose my self over my children. Please hear me on this, I am not advocating that a mother never needs peace and quiet, and does not need a break from her children. I believe wholeheartedly that women do need a break from their children at times, it enables them to be better mothers....and yes your home should be able to be a place of rest and respite from the world. However, young children generally play very loudly. They have no understanding of inside voices, and as much as you teach it, sometimes their energy and excitement far outweigh their awareness of their noise level. Just as I believe mothers need a break, I believe that children should absolutely obey their parents, and should respond to correction and discipline. Parents on the flip side need to be keenly aware of the motivation behind their discipline. I'm seeing more and more how often I've been a gong to my boys, and not been a loving example of the Lord.

How can I consistently be a loving example of Christ in my life, because this goes far beyond parenting, living out a life of love applies to all areas. Am I driving down the road spouting off unkind words to other drivers, who are after all, "Created in the image of God just as I myself am?" Then expecting my children not to call each other names? This is the war at it's finest.

I offer one answer, and I know you may think it's just too simple. The beauty of it all is that it really is that simple. It's just being in God's word. What do we see Christ do as He began His day? (Mark 1:35) Go off to a quiet place to pray. What should we be doing? Going to a quiet place to read, study and pray. Expectantly sit before the Lord laying down yourself and asking Him to fill your day with Him, His purpose and His grace!! He will do it! I began reading through the Pauline Epistles about 4 months ago, I never would have imagined all that the Lord was going to teach me and at what times He would teach the lessons to me. Yet each lesson, each verse has refreshed my soul in Him, it's as if His loving word is grasping my heart and saying, "My child...I will NOT let go!! I am VICTORIOUS! I will not let your flesh win the war!"

After reading and rereading through this passage this morning and just meditating on the goodness of the Lord in the Psalms and other passages...my prayer is that the Lord by His abundant grace would make me a Megaphone for Him, amplifying His grace and mercy to those around me, not a gong or a cymbal just making selfish, self righteous noise.