Foam Rollers and a Veggie Tales Bible

I'm a runner.  I'm slower than most and faster than some.  I run because I love it.  It's peaceful and quiet and nothing but me, my Lord and my music.  Most runs are morning runs and I am very blessed to see the sunrise as I run.

Sometime in May, I messed my back up.  It went into crazy spasm mode and wouldn't stop.  It would ease up a bit and then I'd run...and then spasm again and ease up....a vicious cycle for a runner (well really for anyone).

I know that part of the problem was my lack of commitment to stretching post workout.  I would generally come home from a run, stretch a little and then gear up for my day of teaching our three energetic boys.

Enter the FOAM ROLLER.

Yes, that's right, and if you've rolled your muscles before when you read that you probably read it with delight.  The foam roller is amazing.  A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.  In fact, so much so that I've decided I now have "foam roller induced ADD."  Every time I walk into a room and see my roller I basically stop what I'm doing and start rolling.  It's just that helpful.

So you may be wondering what type did I get?  Did I just run to Target and grab something off the shelf?  Did I get the cheapest one? The cutest one?  How did I decide...why is it that I just can't stop rolling.  It is not the cuteness, or price, or anything else.  Rather it is the benefits of rolling that makes it nearly impossible to not do.

I should probably back up my story a bit and share that I had several friends and fellow runners suggested I start rolling.  However, my sweet best friend said, "come to my house and I will teach you.  I will watch you and see what you are doing wrong and help you learn to do it right to prevent injury."  Did I mention that I love my best friend?

So I went, and learned and tried it and now... I'm fighting foam roller ADD all day, because I've got stuff to do.  I need to accomplish things.  Seriously, I can not roll all day long..

This afternoon as I finished rolling for the 4th time today, I began to think about how the roller "calls" to me when I see it, I've been laughing at myself for days and how often I use this thing I was once so afraid of.  This crazy foam roller that once scared me and seemed overwhelming and daunting so it stayed far away from my mind now captivates a fair amount of my time.

The Lord whispered softly to my heart as I was chuckling at myself.  "Don't I beckon you like that?  My word sits, perfect, holy, pure...waiting...powerful and true...ready."

And the beauty of my God is that not only is He exactly right, why am I not more fervently seeking Him?  Why do I not have "reading the word induced ADD?"  I can walk into a room see my bible, and turn and walk out..often without thinking, 'maybe I should just sit awhile and 'roll' through some pages.'

 (yes this is the Bible I was reading...and yes it's my sons' Veggie Tales Bible...

the blessing of children and a God who pursues my heart)

But as the Lord lovingly whispered to my soul this afternoon, it was pure sweetness.   No condemnation because "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1  Rather it was the sound of the loving Father, drawing me near, answering my prayers to "restore a steadfast spirit within me" (Ps 51:10) and showing me yet again, He does make all things new, He is the Perfecter of my faith and He is the Source.  He is the Vine and the Vinedresser, who both grows and prunes for His glory.

I wonder, like my best friend, who lovingly gave of her time, to teach, assess and demonstrate how to utilize the foam roller, have you found a friend in Christ who will teach you His word, demonstrate living it out and will come along side you in love and help you assess your heart that you would be continuing to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ?

Have you found that, as good as fellowship with believers is here on earth that your Heavenly Father longs to draw you into intimacy with Him through His word, Prayer and His Holy Spirit working inside of you?  Have you relied on Him to whisper to your soul His transforming truth that penetrates to the soul for eternal transformation?

I would challenge you dear reader, next time you are seeking more of God to quiet your heart before Him and just listen.  He is there.  Right there.  Whispering to your soul, in peace and grace and without condemnation to speak life into your soul.

Can I encourage you with this dear friend, when you feel as if you are far from God or your quiet time isn't what it should be, or even if it is and consistent yet you still feel 'off'  cry out to God,  cry along with David, "Create in my a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."  Psalm 51:10.  Keep asking, keep waiting, don't give up...we have a God who does not give up on us.  He pursues us, and we need His grace to pursue Him.

I Confess: I'm the Clean Home Mom

Lately my newsfeeds are filled with articles about messy homes and the women who have them, not being judged and how they are living life and won't feel guilty about having a messy home because it means their house is lived in. 

Well, I must confess.  I'm that clean home mom.  Yup.  You can drop by my house any hour of the day and chances are....it'll be relatively clean, if not really clean.

My kids are living life.  They are playing non-stop, they are getting homeschooled, they are creating and making messes and breaking things, spilling things, dropping things, throwing things, and building things.  They are all over all the time.  They eat without ceasing and leave trails of evidence even with my best efforts to teach cleanliness.  All the while, I'm 'managing' my home, pursuing my writing dreams, teach classes at our co-op, studying, training for a half marathon, cooking, helping my husband recover from knee surgery...and I'm still cleaning.

You see, I'm doing the cleaning for two people...and only one physically resides in my home.

I'm that one.  I'm the one who lives here and experiences the messes daily.  But I'm also the one who feels peaceful when things are in order.  I enjoy clean counter-tops, although they aren't always ready to be eaten off of.  I enjoy a clean floor, or dusted furniture.  I like to wake up to clean dishes in the dishwasher instead of dirty ones.  I like empty laundry baskets, instead of full ones.

All those things done mean that I've had to ability to do them.  I've been blessed with the health to be able to walk through a home and care for a family that an amazing God has provided.  I get to wash the never ending loads of dirty clothes for three amazing boys that He has entrusted me with.  I get to iron the wrinkly shirts of a husband who works with all his heart to provide for our amazing little family.

The other person I clean for is the Lord.  Yes, I'm sure that sounds like a cliche but that's okay, because the Lord worked something amazing in my heart the first few years of parenting that has given me a fresh perspective on keeping our home clean.

 Bottom line, I'm somewhat type-A, in fact I had a friend once say "You're type A+" I like order and cleanliness and so when I started having kids and staying home I figured it would be a cinch to keep the house clean, I mean I'm home so I've got all the time in the world.....

Have you ever heard that saying, "You're the perfect parent until you become one?"

Well.  Reality kicked in when our oldest was 20 months old and we welcomed our second son.  Then just 30 months later we welcomed another.

I used to allow frustration with things being out of order navigate my mood.  Chaos and clutter don't mesh well with type-A.  But the Lord in His kindness began to speak to my heart about the messes and the peace I felt from having a clean home.  Just because things are physically in order in your home, doesn't mean they are spiritually in order in your heart.  If having a clean home has become an idol then the value you ascribe to the clean home will supercede the value you ascribe to God.  Our God is our provider, the giver of all gifts.  He is the One who grants the ability to clean.

He provides the messes to clean and the ones who cause the mess.   He is the One who made me, and gave me the personality that I have.  So He is the One I must trust to marry my personality with His word to live a life that expresses His grace and love to those around me.  He does all of it for a purpose.

As my kids entered the toddler years and I felt all I did was walk from one mess to another to tidy up, the Lord began to set me free from myself and my need to clean as a way to create a peaceful environment, and lead me towards trusting in Him to create the peace in our home.  As Phil 4:7 says, "the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." 

See then I was cleaning to create peace, now I clean as an act of gratefulness to the unseen resident of our home.  The Prince of Peace.  The Lord.  The one who owns it all.  

"For every beast of the forest is Mine,
The cattle on a thousand hills.

  I know every bird of the mountains,
And everything that moves in the field is Mine.
If I were hungry I would not tell you,
For the world is Mine, and all it contains."

Psalm 50:10-12

We receive our mail here, and we pay the mortgage note, utilities and taxes...but it's all God's.  He is like the landlord, and we are the renters.  My heart has transitioned from Type-A about cleaning to Type G.  Grateful.   Grateful for the three little warriors I've got living their lives in this place making the messes that I get to clean.  The messes that as they age, they are learning to be responsible for and clean up so they can grow into mature responsible men one day.

So chances are, when you drop by my house it'll be clean.  Not because I'm better than anyone.  Not because my kids aren't living life.  Not because I'm a control freak and can't handle things out of order.  Simply because I want to live my life with an attitude of gratitude for the One who has done more for me than I could ever do for anyone else.  I want to use what He has put into our care for Him, I want everything we have to be ready for Him to pick up and direct.

And if you have me over to your house and it's a mess...I won't care.  Remember in the Word it says:

"So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin."   James 4:17

and 

"One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike. Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind."  Romans 14:5 

I keep our home clean because of what the Lord has impressed on my heart, not because it looks good for others.  When I see others with clean homes or others with 'messy' homes I am reminded of how infinite our God is in His creation.  We are all unique.  Which means though we possess similarities we are all different, and Praise Him for it!!

So as a clean home mom, I'd ask....don't come to my house and feel weird because it is clean and please don't think for a second you need to clean to have me over simply because my house is clean.   

  

What's Running got to do with Parenting?

This weekend I had the opportunity to run in my second race.  It was much different than my first, untimed, Color Vibe run.  This was a timed 14 mile relay where I ran with three other ladies.  We were running to benefit a local organization that provides support to the Autism community where I live.

This issue is very important to my heart because I have a nephew who is Autistic.  He is now twelve years old, and has been living with Autism for over ten years.  He is amazing.  Not because he is Autistic, but simply because of his spirit.  He has a tenderness and love about him that is sweet to the soul.

So, I'm not going sugar coat this.  The relay was hard.  Which to be honest, I thought it wouldn't be.  My portion was only 3.35 miles, and I'm in the middle of training for a half marathon right now, so my longest run is 8 miles.  I figured I could knock out my lap in under 30 minutes and then go run another with my friend who was next, so I could get the miles in to keep my training schedule up.

Guess what?   There was three insane hills.  I train on flat ground primarily to prevent reinjuring my hamstring.

Hills take endurance.  Endurance is earned. 

Earned only by hard work, discipline and commitment.

As I started down the second hill, thinking it may not be that bad....I got to the bottom and began the ascent.  The 1/4 mile ascent.  Yeah, it was tough, and I kept my eyes on my feet and just kept going.
My mind began to wonder, I began to think about my nephew.  Here I was mentally complaining about a hill, and daily Stephen has challenges.  I began to think on the things he can't do, and quickly thanked God for the ability to run this challenging hill.

(my favorite snapshot of the day, LOVE this boy)

Then I began to think about my sister in law.  She is always saying that she wished she had my motivation and discipline.  But she does.   She parents Stephen with  endurance.   She's earned that endurance.  She has an unwavering commitment to her son.  She pursues therapy for him, she fights for him.  She's been doing this for over ten years.

I ran that hill in maybe a few minutes, and at the top I had some relief.   She has no relief.

Running is hard, running long distance takes time and commitment.  It is mentally taxing. 

I think parenting and running have a lot in common.  It takes commitment, you can't run a marathon tomorrow because you decided to today.  You have to physically prepare.  You also have to mentally prepare.  There comes a point in your training where the mental aspect of the running is almost more of a challenge than the physical part.

Just like parenting.  You have to prepare your mind to stay the course despite all the 'bumps' in the road.  You've got to have endurance.  You don't get endurance for free.  It comes at a cost.  If you want godly children that "walk in a manner worthy of the gospel" (Phil 1:27) then it will interrupt your life, it will require your time, it will wear on your nerves, it will humble you in public, it will require self control in your own life at home and in public.

My friend and I who were so gung-ho about running two laps to get distance in both needed a break.  But we did it, we got the motivation.  My second lap was slower than my first.  There wasn't the pressure of the team depending on me to get there, it was a 'volunteer' lap.  But I found that as I ran with a friend, I had accountability and encouragement right there.

Just like in parenting.   We need our spouses to be an encouragement to us in this.  We need other moms to come alongside us and let us know our kids are not the only kids in the world who challenge authority and test boundaries.  We need community to speak truth into our hearts so that endurance is nourished properly.

I want to parent with endurance.  God given, Christ centered and grace filled endurance that leads my boys to Jesus, their Creator so that one day, they will parent their own with an even stronger endurance.  See, my boys do what I do.  They do what my husband does.  In fact, yesterday in the store, I did something my mom did when I was growing up.   They imitate us.  It's a scary truth.

I want my life to point to Christ, that as they imitate me, they will find their Savior.

(this is our youngest, stretching after each lap I did, because I do,

not because he ran, but because his mommy did)

Pumpkins Still Need Carving, Even Five Years Later

This morning, my youngest walked into my room and said, "Hey mom, it's halloween today."  Ahh, yes it is.  I forgot.  Then as I began to think about halloween, because we let our kids participate..but we don't get into all the craziness of it, I began thinking...I have three pumpkins to carve...and today is the day!  Then, I remembered, 5 years ago, the Lord gave us a really special day together as we 'carved' pumpkins.  I thought I'd update that blog and share with you...I pray you are blessed by it.

 

 

(the following is my 'halloween' blog from '08,

the above is my sweet 5 year old with three pumpkins ready to be carved)

 

So today is November 1st, and technically halloween was yesterday. I could honestly care less...I mean really...I'm not into it at all, I think it's waste of time...and quite honestly there are a million things we could do to bring attention to our need for Jesus as believers and unbelievers alike....because let's be honest...we all need Him..daily...just in different ways. At any rate...we allowed our boys to get a pumpkin this year...I don't even know why...I can't even say...isn't it ridiculous for someone who doesn't care for Halloween?     Oh the irony of parenting.

So here sits this 16 pound pumpkin on my kitchen counter for the last two weeks....every time I look at it, it's begging the question..."what am I going to do with this crazy huge pumpkin?" So today, as my spouse was out of town and we've already passed halloween... and I do not bake pies...I thought..alright here goes...I vaguely remembered from my childhood how nasty the inside was of a pumpkin and how slimy the seeds were...but I've got boys so they should enjoy it. We got started...rather I got started my two oldest boys sat at the counter and watched...it was tough.  Seriously the pumpkin was hard to cut into.  Finally I got to the inside and it wasn't nearly as disgusting looking as I thought it would be. So I instantly thought...ah this should be easy. Well...it wasn't too bad at first, we started digging out the slimy seeds, and yes they loved it...we collected them, because I wash them and bake them for a snack. 

We're elbow deep in pumpkin seeds and goo and the Lord reminds me of something I had heard, I think while at the Seminary. People are like Pumpkins! So I asked my oldest...I said, "can Mommy tell you about how pumpkins and people are similar?" He said yes...and I told him, we are like the pumpkins and Jesus is like the carver...when we ask Him into our hearts...He comes in...and He takes all the yucky stuff out and replaces it with His light...just like we take all the yucky stuff out of a pumpkin and put a candle into it to make it shine. Okay...he's 4 he wasn't overly impressed....but all day I kept thinking about that...and even now I as I'm reflecting on it...you know...it was TOUGH to cut into that pumpkin.  Just like me.

 I'm tough to "cut into" I'm stubborn, I have to learn lessons over and over...I'd be arrogant to even say that there are certain things I've got "whipped" because I know that uttering those words opens me to the possibility of failing..."let him who thinks he stand take heed lest he fall" 1 Cor 10:12 Okay...so I've been recently struggling with my attitude with my kids.... I absolutely love them...I mean I would do anything for them, I want them to love Jesus so bad it hurts....I want them to be God-fearing, God-honoring leaders in His church...but I've just been really struggling with them lately...okay I've got an almost 3 year old who will not obey...the words "strong-willed" do not hold a candle to his behavior...and my almost 5 year old seems to be just down right mean to get attention...all the while this precious 4 month old just wants some love from Mommy. Going in 3 different directions is not easy... it's tough and gets tougher everyday.  Parenting is tough.

And as I was teaching my son about pumpkins and how they parallel our lives and our relationship with Jesus..I just kept praying...God SHOW me Yourself...I NEED you to change me and give me the love and the strength because I am overwhelmed...I've been begging God to speak to me from His word...I need that so intensely I just can't give up....I won't give up....because I know in ALL things God is teaching me...He's working out sanctification in my life to His greater glory...and there are days when I just feel so callous and so tough to cut into (like that pumpkin) I feel like not even God's word can get through because I'm such a sinner...and then I read "Arise, cry aloud in the night, at the beginning of the night watches; pour out your heart like water before the presence of the LORD." Lamentations 2:19...I thought, I I can do that because I just need HIM!!!

 2 Timothy again... "...and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." 2 Timothy 3:6-7 How my heart longs for a steadfast immovable spirit as in Psalm 51:10...how desperately I need to have His love increase and overflow within me as in 1 Thes 3:12, and how fervent I must be about praying without ceasing 1 thes 5:17.

So this morning as I was carving out that pumpkin every time I would scrap away a layer of the "yucky stuff" I'd think I was almost done...and I'd dump out what I had scraped off only to reveal a little bit more that needed to be scraped off.....this adventure I'm on...following after Christ, is like that...every time God refines my heart and scraps off a little more of the yucky stuff that has to go for His glory to shine bright...it reveals a little more that needs to go....and what I noticed was this...sometimes I could scrap really hard and sometimes I could scrap gently...it just depended on how nasty the yucky stuff was....so I guess I'm more like a pumpkin than I thought....and how thankful Iam that Jesus is the Master carver and I know He has a perfect image of what He is making me into...not some haphazard drawing of an unskilled artist...Praise God!

Which Doormat are You?

This morning, I found myself again in the battle of, "I am NOT a doormat."  I AM a believer in Christ.  I do love my Lord, I believe in returning good for evil, I believe that I should do what is right and do my best to live at peace with all men.

I'll be honest, I'm a California girl through and through, and shortly after the Lord saved me, He began dealing with my arrogance of the culture I had been raised in.  I would say what I thought when I thought it, after all, that was honesty.  It's a different culture where I was raised, if you didn't like someone, you just told them...and that was 'okay.'  Not everyone has to be friends, it was respected.  Differences were embraced, almost idolized in the culture I grew up in.

The arrogance isn't a mentality of "I'm better than you so there."  But rather, "I am who I am and you have to accept it or move on cause I don't care anyway."

But the Lord graciously began to work in my heart showing me (some things more quickly than others) that yes I am who I am, but part of who I am is sinful and needed a loving Savior to transform the depths of my soul.  Not to fit a societal mold...but to be more like Christ.

I believe that part of the boldness that comes with that upbringing, led me into years of passivity as a believer.  Now, I am NOT saying that being passive is bad, it can be right depending on the situation.

What I am being set free from is the misconception that all Christians should be doormats.  We should not silently sit by in fear of acting in our society because of a deeply rooted fear of man, or for any other reason for that matter. 

There will be times when God calls us to act. 

When He does we must obey.

God called Moses to bring the Israelites out of Egypt.  He didn't just sit there in the middle of the desert waiting for the Lord to bring them to him.  Rather, in the strength God provided, Moses acted mightily.

God called Joseph to be in a position of authority in Egypt during a famine.  Joseph did not sit in prison idly.  No, seeing the opportunity for release he took it.

God called Paul to take the gospel to the Gentiles (and Praise His Name, for I am one!).  Paul didn't just stay in Damascus waiting for the Lord to drop some Gentiles in his lap.  He went throughout the known world spreading the gospel of Christ to the gentiles.

I'm learning that although there are times when I most definitely could be perceived as a doormat, that label is okay if in receiving it I am honoring the Lord in what He has called me to do.  I am also learning that there are times when I am called to speak out.   When I am called to stand up for something because if I don't I may not be being a good steward of what the Lord has entrusted to my care.

Through the past six years that the Lord has been impressing this truth on my heart, He has shown me over and over that speaking up means speaking words tempered with grace and love.

Ephesians 4:15 says, "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ."

If I am in fact to speak words that give grace to those who hear me, my first position has to be one of fervent prayer.  In fact, speaking the truth in love requires a tremendous amount of prayer.

We can trust in our Father to grant us the words we need when and as we need them.  The Lord spoke to Moses in Exodus, and this has always encouraged my soul, "The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”   Exodus 4:10-12.

Sometimes the Lord calls us to speak up, and sometimes the Lord calls us to be silent.  Again in Exodus 14:14, we are encouraged by,   ^"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” 

The key I've found is discernment.  Speaking when He wants us to and what He wants us to.

Guess what?  I'm not the only one who struggles with this, it's as old as the writer of James reflecting on the ability to control the tongue.  That man is perfect if he can do so.  James 3:2, "We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check."

So, maybe instead of being the silent doormat consistently, I can choose to be the doormat the exudes grace to those who walk across me....

 

 

Electronic Priveleges: REVOKED!

We have three boys.  Active and young boys.  And I homeschool.  Just to be honest, things like the Wii, the DS, the iPad and Netflix are sometimes helpful tools when I am particularly stressed.  However 'helpful' they may be, they are privileges...not rights...at least in our home.

I've noticed lately, as we've suspended electronic activity in our home that my boys are taking on one of two roles at any given time. 

Giver and Taker. 

Now more often than not one particular child takes on the 'taker' role.  It seems he is always negotiating his brothers out of something, be it Legos or electronic privileges or outside toys.  This one seems to predominately be a taker.

Now, you can argue that his negotiating skills are wonderful and they will serve him well in adulthood.  All of which is possible.

Then you could argue that the other two are being more servant minded, and truly embodying "preferring others over themselves" as they are more often the givers.

Which, you could argue that this is a great heart-attitude to have, seeing as it is scriptural.

So, you might wonder....why am I even blogging about this?  Well, it all comes down to motives.  Is my taker motivated to be wise with what he obtains?  Or is he trying to obtain things that he covets?   Are my givers giving because they want their brothers' approval?


Now I am neither judge nor jury.  I'm not the mom so that I can judge their thoughts and intentions, rather I am here to administer grace in their lives to draw out their sin, and point them to the gospel of Christ that they would grow in the grace and knowledge of Him.

Which means I am consistently intervening when situations appear amiss, and helping my boys to work through the issues of their hearts to see their need for Christ and His grace.

But this morning, as I heard "I don't want you to have my lego anymore since you aren't being nice."  I began to think on this.   I've got givers and takers.  There are pros and cons to each role.

But what does God say?  How does God call me to live?  

Do I look at others as what I can take from them?  To put it another way, am I looking at people as instruments to use for my advantage?  How can they help me?  What can they add to my life?

Or....

Am I looking at others to see how I can be a blessing to them?  If so, am I trying to be a blessing to benefit myself?

Am I consumed by myself?  Is it possible that the sin of self preference is so deeply rooted it impacts every relationship we enter?

I'd go with a resounding  yes.

So, where my hope? How I love there words, and the older I am the deeper they resound with my soul:

My hope is built on nothing less
than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
but wholly lean on Jesus' name.

Remember, His grace is sufficient for us and love covers a multitude of sins.  We are not without hope, we are redeemed and forgiven, covered in Grace being refined each day for His glory!

Who did I really marry?

The other day, I was cutting my husband's hair.  As I took off at least a half inch on the sides, I revealed even more gray hair than ever before.  Then the next afternoon I proceeded to have my hair colored to cover my whites.

It has really hit me, like a ton of bricks lately.  We are aging.  Not just our kids, my mom friends and I always say, "they grow so fast try and enjoy every season."  But guess what's happening while they grow up so fast?

We are too!  Almost faster than they do, at least from outward appearances it seems.

As I cut my husband's hair, and revealed even more gray,  inwardly I was an emotional wreck.  You know, that gray hair (and my white hair), have been earned.  We haven't always had the easiest of times in our marriage...and in our short eleven years we've moved seven times, bought four houses, had three kids and my husband has changed careers once.  We've served the Lord in seven different churches and have three kids.  The three kids came within the first 5 years of our marriage.

That can be overwhelming to read, but it makes me incredibly thankful. 

July 20, 2002 as I walked down the aisle at Westside Church and said "I do." I didn't even realize what I really meant.  I thought I was marrying this perfect, amazing, Jesus loving man who would never disappoint.

Just for fun, this is our engagement picture from 2001.

Guess what?  I married a sinner.  He loves Jesus, and Jesus' grace covers him, just as it does me.  But when you put two sinners in close proximity for a prolonged period of time...guess what inevitably works it way out?  Sin.

Through the first few years of our marriage, God spoke a word to me.  When I said, "I do."

What I really said was,

"God I do trust You to hold our marriage together."

"God I do commit this marriage to You."

"God I will choose to obey what your word says about marriage, not because of my spouse, but because of You.

See, I come from a 'broken' home.  While I realize that broken is so much more than parents being divorced....I believed in my heart even before Christ saved me, that marriage could work. 

Dear friend, marriage is really about our commitment to our Lord.   Please do not misunderstand or misinterpret what I am saying.  There are certainly reasons that call for separation (be it abuse or marital unfaithfulness), but overall...God is for marriage.

When I made that commitment to my spouse all those years ago, what the Lord has shown me, is my commitment isn't really to my spouse...it's to my Lord, my spouse is just the beneficiary.  He receives all the benefits of my desire to obey God in my marriage.   That's all.

So, as I cut my husband's,  I was reminded of God's grace...eleven years.  He has kept us together, it hasn't always been sunshine and roses....but it certainly has not been all bad either.  My husband is iron to me.  He sharpens me, he isn't some super spiritual man who is a "super saint."  He's just a regular redeemed sinner, living in the abundant grace of our Savior, trying to obey God in our marriage and our family as best he knows how.

It goes fast.   We grow up fast.  Like I said, I see the evidence of my kids growing, in fact my 9 year old is almost as tall as me, and wears the same size shoe I do.  It's insane.  My "baby" is 5!  He reads, he writes, he adds and subtracts!  

Wherever did it go?  I saw my sweet husband playing catch with five boys when I came home the other evening from work.  We only have three.   He is a good man.  He wants to show these boys what a real man is.  Someone who loves Christ and makes Him known.

It blesses my heart immensely that God is a loving and patient God who just as he uses out children to teach us of His love and grace, uses our spouses to refine us as well. 

While we are certainly growing older, it's amazing to watch the Lord grow love in my heart for my spouse.

I love these verses, and I pray these encourage you:

"Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth" Proverbs 5:8

and

"The Lord grant that you may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband!” Ruth 1:9

Thankful

I'm thankful for many things

But today I'm especially thankful for specific things. I'm thankful I can homeschool.  I'm thankful that He ALONE is faithful when He calls to bring it to pass.  I'm thankful for the strength He grants to obey the call He gives.  I'm thankful for the blessing of my children and how He mercifully uses them to refine my hard heart.  I'm thankful for my husband.  He is an amazing man.  I'm thankful on June 5, 1995 the Lord would not leave me alone until I surrendered to His call to come to Christ.

As we had our bible study this morning I was reminded of the FACT that our Lord's grace is sufficient.  When I go to draw from the rich grace of our God, I never hear or see "insufficient funds."  His grace is there. 

Every Hour.

Every moment.

I will never hear Him say, "I'm done." "It's just too much."  "Give me five minutes." "Can you just leave me alone?"

I will always hear Him say, "My grace, Brittany, is sufficient for you."

That's part of what is so amazing  about grace.

Deep Roots

This morning, in the mid- five o'clock hour I heard a lot of noise, doors opening and closing, lights coming on.  ugh!   My body immediately tensed up.  For three years, my husband worked over an hour away.  Which meant he left early each day, close to 5:00am.  It was tough on him.  It was tough on me, morning routine and everything that entailed was solo.  Every day.  I would literally wake up at 4:30am just to have some quiet time alone in my closet.

So, when I heard noises that early it brought back a flood of frustration.  Those years were very tough. We had three young boys, like 4, 2 and newborn.  All boys.   It was crazy, nonstop and seriously demanding emotionally, physically and spiritually.  Many, many mornings I would have my quiet time with a toddler on my lap.

I remember crying out to God, "Seriously Lord how early do I have to wake up just to be alone with you?!"

This morning, first I found my oldest, who has always been an early riser, and I heard him go potty and then go back to his room, turn his light on and start playing with Legos.  REALLY!?!?!?  So I opened the door and firmly reminded him that it was way too early to be awake and he needed sleep.  I went back to my room, to finish reading my book, only to hear my youngest stomping through the upstairs declaring he had peed the bed and was wet!

So, I changed sheets, gave a bath, redressed in jammies and put him back in the bed.  Then, curled up yet again with my book.

Mornings are not a problem for me.  I like them.  I enjoy the quietness of our home, I enjoy watching the life spring up each day as the sunlight filters through our windows.  I need that alone time.

So, when my routine was interrupted instead of just extending grace and trusting the Lord to give me the time I needed to finish reading, I just wallowed in my sinful frustration a bit.

You may think I'm nuts or being hard on myself, that it's totally normal to get frustrated with your kids, which it is.   And they absolutely require more sleep than adults and at any minute of the 5 AM hour they should most definitely be sleeping...there is so much more at stake here than them being awake too early.

While all of their needs are legitimate...my 'need' for alone time is mostly selfish.

Bottom line.

I love quiet time with the Lord first thing in the morning.  I just gives me a fresh perspective on my day.  It helps me order my thoughts, it reminds me of how greatly I need Him in each moment.  I am able to wake up free from the stresses of daily life.  I'm refreshed and ready to literally be still before the Lord.  I love that time.

Clearly, when I love that time, more than I love obeying the call of the Lord to love others (like my children) more than myself...something has gone awry.

That's awful.  But it's raw.  It's honest.  If you thought honestly about 'things' in your life...you'd find things you're tempted to love more than the Lord.

The verse we used for each one of our birth announcements for our sons  was "Behold children are a gift from the LORD."  Psalm 127:3

So if children are such a gift from the Lord, how then can they often be the biggest source of frustration for parents?

It's possible that children being a blessing and gift from God has everything to do with God alone using our children to reveal to us how deeply rooted our own sin nature is, and how vast our daily need for Christ really is.  

Just like the roots of a great tree...is the sin in our flesh.  David tells us in Psalms, we are born sinners.  We do not need to be taught to sin.  We got that.  We need to be rescued by grace.  Daily.  Hourly.  Every moment of every day.  We need to run to the Grace Giver, that our roots would be nourished with truth rather than with sin and death.
So this morning before school started and laundry was folded, once my oldest woke up the second time.  I had to ask for forgiveness and explain to him, that I am a sinner just like he is.  I need God's grace to cover me, to guide me, to correct me, to envelop me, and today while he as a child absolutely needed more sleep, I was, as a child of God not being obedient in preferring others over myself, and the harsh words I spoke to him were spoken out of the selfishness of my own sinful heart.

I physically saw the Lord's grace and truth transform my son's demeanor.  "Mom, I forgive you, and I will try to sleep longer, I get it."

Grace.  So amazing.  God, the Giver of all Grace, allowed me to speak grace and truth to my son, and it (the grace and truth) transformed his heart.

After all, it's quite possible, an early riser such as myself has given birth to a future (or current on most days) early riser.  Maybe he enjoys the mornings as I do.

Gem Mining

We went Gem Mining today.  Yeah, and for those that know me well, it is a miraculous moment when I willingly spend $18 on two bags of dirt for my kids to 'sift' through to find planted gems and fossils.

This morning I came home from the dentist with a different agenda for our day.  I knew we needed a change of pace after the first two days of this particular week.

Monday was a devastating day, and Tuesday wasn't much better.    On Monday I caught my nine year old in a lie.  I didn't even know what to think.  I mean honestly it was earth shattering to me.  Okay, grant me grace here friend.  I did not grow up in a Christian home, and somewhere in my mind I had romanticized the Christian home to contain perfectly behaved, obedient children who are always loving.   While those characteristics are good and in a godly way should be cultivated. I was failing so desperately to recognize the obvious truth:  my children are clothed in sinful flesh.  They battle it just as I do....they just don't have as much sinful 'baggage' as I do.

I was not recognizing that, even in their youth, and no matter how 'ideal' of a childhood we try to create for them, they are still sinners.  Which means they will sin.

We saturate them in the word, planting gems of truth throughout the everyday moments of their lives.

Wouldn't you know, the Lord has me reading a wonderful book and the chapter I just began Monday evening is about the importance of Christian Community.  The author brings up a wonderful point that he draws out of Hebrews 10:19-31.  "The central lesson of this passage is that we need one another daily....It is a call to community that is intentionally intrusive, Christ-Centered, grace-driven and redemptive." Paul Tripp

The more I read the more the soft, firm voice of the Lord spoke healing to my heart.  Friends, I was angry.  I was outraged.  I trusted my son to be honest and to make wise decisions.  Monday and Tuesday were difficult days.  Tension ruled our home.  It wasn't fun.

Then, this morning in the quietness of our basement on my morning run, I began mulling over my sin.  My anger, my frustration.  My judgment. My unmet and unrealistic expectations.

I'm the adult and yet, I let my emotions get the best of me.  I did not walk away and ask God for grace and mercy to handle the situation.  I immediately began exposing his sin according to the Word.  I wasn't crazy about it, but I was not nice either.

Anyway you look at it, or whatever words I could choose, bottom line...in my anger...I sinned.

And it's all level ground at the Cross.

My anger.  Joseph's lie.   It all took the blood of Calvary to be forgiven.

This morning the Lord spoke to me about our homeschool.  We, our family, are a community.  A small little five person community.  We are absolutely blessed that three of us have trusted in Christ, so we have that hope that He will guide us with His Holy Spirit.

But Grace.  A grace driven relationship (that of parent and child) allows us "to motivate and encourage one another to do what is right.  We minister to one another knowing that while the law is able to reveal sin, only grace can deliver from it!"  Paul Tripp

Then Redemption.  "Redemptive relationships means we recognize change is a process, not a quick leap to sinless perfection.  We have been redeemed, we are being redeemed, and we will be redeemed."  Paul Tripp

Truth Revealed.  God's word, living and active in the hearts and lives of His people.

The Lord showed me, I was freely receiving God's grace to cover my sin, and yet not expecting my children to need it for theirs.  In my overly romanticized Christian Home, it's as if there were no room for grace.  They wouldn't need it, because they know what sin is, so they won't sin.

But God.

He is gracious and merciful and He redeems!

I want to be a mother who leads my children with redemptive purpose.  I want to take the bad, the unpleasant, the sins that so easily entangle us and show my children how to run to Jesus and exchange it all for the truth found in His word.

So this morning, I went to my boys and confessed the anger of my heart to them and my sin and asked for forgiveness.  It's a humbling moment to ask forgiveness from a young child.  But they need to know Mommy isn't perfect....otherwise they will grow up believing someday they will 'arrive' at perfection.  And they won't.  Neither will I.  I don't want to set my kids up for spiritual failure, they (and I) can do that all on their own.

We are limited by our sinful flesh, but set free by a limitless God who pours out grace and mercy beyond any feeble comprehension.

So what did 'hump' day look like at our house?  Well, as the grace of God's forgiveness flooded my heart, I knew I needed to be a conduit today.  So, we did the bare minimum school and hit the local apple farm.   Sometimes you just have to get away, and quietly meditate on the marvelous grace of our God and enjoy these three amazing blessings that God has entrusted to our care while on the earth, with our absolute top priority to be raising boys into men who love Jesus and serve others.

 

As I watched them sift through the mud and pull out those gems, I was convicted to pray that the Lord would bring growth..."I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow."  1 Cor. 3:6

My First Race

I ran in my first 5k this weekend.  I learned a LOT.  Depending on where you are in your fitness journey, 5k may seem overwhelming...or not really a big deal.  I honestly had no idea what to expect.  One really cool thing, I got to meet up with some cool local moms from my running club...

 

That was really cool!  They were so sweet...and encouraging.  Not every race will be as 'fun' at this one.  So, now I may have more accurate expectations of races to come!

 

So this race is the "Color Vibe" and it's all across the country from my understanding, and when we showed up to thousands of runners, I was shocked.  This race wasn't timed, and when I found that out I was so bummed.  I've been trying to get in shape for weeks because all I wanted this older body of mine to do was to run the 5k in under 30 minutes.  That may not seem like a huge deal to some, but that's what I wanted to do.  They were herding people towards the start line.  There was no order, just get in the big massive group of people and go.  So, our little group of seven started inching towards the front of the crowd.  We were able to start the race with the third group of people.  We started out and I ran at my own pace and by myself.  That is one of the things I like most about running. 

 

The solitude. 

 

Because it's never just me.  It's always the Lord and I.  To me running is a concentrated time of focus and prayer.  It's an ongoing and open conversation with God.  Sometimes it's interceding for others, sometimes it's asking for strength to make the next mile.  Whatever it is, to me it is very precious time with the Lord.  I expect to hear from God when I'm running.

 

Running for me is a bit like 'active waiting.'   I'm reading this amazing book, "Broken-Down House"

and I was reading the chapter about waiting, it reminded me so much of how the Lord uses running in my life.

 

"Waiting is more than being patient as situations and other people change.  Waiting is about understanding that you and I desperately need to change and that waiting is a powerful tool of personal change." Paul Tripp.

 

Just as the ladies in my moms running club and I showed up to thousands of runners and had to wait in a really large crowd to start our race...we had a choice how to use our wait.  While we waited we could have complained, or pushed our way to the front as if we were more important than all the other people or as we did we just waited in line, talking amongst ourselves and with other runners.  We chose to enjoy the wait.

 

Choosing to enjoy the wait is NOT easy.  It's not.  We are impatient people.  We often know what we want and when we want it (like now...or really yesterday).  But God.  He gives us time to wait.  In fact at every given moment in our lives we will be waiting for something.

 

Waiting for our child to get potty trained.  Waiting for a promotion at work.  Waiting for that publisher to decide whether they will publish a proposal.  Waiting to hear a loved one say "yes" to Jesus.  Waiting for healing.  And on and on it goes.  We will wait.

 

Why are we so surprised when we are expected to wait?  At times, we can all act as if we are too good to wait.  The Lord Jesus even waited while here on earth.  In Luke we read that He grew up, and while he was a child he willingly submitted Himself to His earthly parents.  Being fully God, He could have started His public ministry at any age...and yet He waited until the age of thirty.

 

I can not say this better than Paul Tripp, "Waiting is one of God's most powerful tools of grace.  God doesn't just give us grace for the wait.  The wait itself if a gift of grace."

 

So, this challenge is for me as much as for you, how are you using your waiting time?  Are you waiting like you do impatiently in line for food or at the return desk of a retailer...consumed with all around you inwardly complaining about how long the wait it.  Or are you waiting like at a doctors office...just wasting the time flipping through the 'magazines' of the world to 'kill' time?

 

Or is yours the 'active waiting' I mentioned earlier.   Are you using your wait-time to as we are told Jesus did.  Luke 2:52, "And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man." 

 

Here are a few things I ask God while I'm waiting in various situations

 

God...what do you want me to learn in this time frame right now?

Lord, is there someone I need to be sharing You with right now?

God, grant me eyes to see those around me the way You do!

 

I promise...you ask God questions like that, you will hear from Him.  Sometimes you will not be given step by step directions, but He will make it clear where you need to move to serve Him.

 

"Waiting means understanding that you were given life and breath for the glory of another.  Waiting gives you the opportunity to forsake the delusion of your own glory and rest in the God of awesome glory."  Paul Tripp

Going Old School

I played basketball all through High School.  My coach was crazy.  Or so I thought back then.  We ran at a minimum 21 miles a week, and had 6 days of 3 hour practices.  We were not the best in our division.  You would've thought with all that conditioning that we should have been.  Some years were better than others, we usually came in second, third or even fourth in our league (yes there were more than four teams).

 (This is my senior year, and this picture is completely for entertainment purposes!  At least the 90's hair wasn't as crazy as the 80's hair!!)



We may not have been the best, but we were a team.   I remember on team runs as we would pass one another we would give each other five, and say good job.  Encouragement.  We knew that encouraging one another, made each person feel valued, and that generally resulted in working harder.  Harder working individuals resulted in a stronger team.


 On my run this Saturday, I ran into three other runners getting their morning run in as well.   Sometimes the actual work out isn't as hard as the persistent discipline to just go and do the workout.  So without a thought, the first lady that passed me, I smiled at and said, "good job!"  I honestly don't know if she heard me, I would guess she did, because we passed one another on a tight sidewalk.  I kept on going, and kind of chuckled to myself.  I'm so old...do people even say "good job" anymore?  Ha!!  I don't know.

As I continued my run, I began to ponder, am I quick to compliment others around me?  Not unnecessary flattering, but pure honest compliments.  Things I notice about others that are clearly gifts of God's grace in their lives....because life isn't a competition.  We've all got the same standard.  That's Christ. Thankfully, it's not one another.

Being a mom can be isolating.  I remember the toddler years of having all three boys 4 and under.  I mean....wow.  There were days I would not dare leave the house.  To corral all three boys was (and still can be) a daunting task.  Being a Christian can be isolating as well.  Our culture is rampant with judgment and plagued by sin.

As mothers it is all to easy to look around at other women and when we see their kids act a fool, we quickly take comfort in it not being our kid.  Or another easy out is self isolation.  We can isolate ourselves so that no one ever sees how our children act...or how we react.  Thus, never being under the scrutiny of others.

Maybe we could choose to go against the grain and follow what the Lord tells us to do. Instead of looking at every one as competition, we could choose to look at others as those created by God as well.   We could ask God to show us opportunities to help and encourage rather than divide and judge.

"Therefore, encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing"  1 Thessalonians 5:11

It's quite possible that individuals in the Church need encouragement.  Pure biblical encouragement that celebrates Christ in us.    By the church I mean every single believer in Christ.   Not a specific church or denomination. 

When you offer a compliment to someone it is does not mean the opposite is true of yourself.  Complimenting a lady for her well written blog doesn't mean yours isn't any good.  Complimenting a mother on how well her children behaved, or a thoughtful deed they did does not mean your children are no good, wild and out of control.   It simply means the good you see you acknowledge as a gift of God's grace in their life.

So why not encourage one another and build one another up.  Celebrating the glimpses of God's grace in one another lives.

Here are two truths I try to keep at the forefront of my mind as I journey through this life and relate to others:

One is all people are created in the image of God.  "Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness;"  Genesis 1:26

Every. Single. One.   He did not say "let us make some men in our image"  "let us make the good mothers in our image" "let us make popular people in our image"  No, He said let us make them in our image.

Two is, any good you see in anyone is only Christ.  Christ alone is good.  Remember Romans?  All have sinned.  All.  Each one of us.  We all need a Savior.  I know myself well.   Trust me...all the 'good' I've got...it's only God.  That's it.  Nothing more...nothing less.  It is ALL Him!!

So, whether it's in style or old school, why not ask God to show you who you can encourage and how you can encourage them.  Remember, "do not grow weary in doing good..."  Let's encourage individuals and pray that our team of believers is strengthened for God's glory!!

An Unlikely Audience

Today our school start time came and went.  Two years ago I would've been seriously annoyed, but God has done a work and today I was thankful the boys were getting the sleep they needed and I had an extra hour to prepare

 

We are studying through various spiritual disciplines and this week is prayer...really fitting considering my day yesterday.  So we started talking through 1 Thessalonians 5:17 and Jeremiah 33:3.   The boys began to ask questions and before I know it I was sharing my testimony of coming to Christ with my boys.

Again, with kids, and especially boys you never know how much they actually take in and remember.  

Until this afternoon.   I'm driving them around and my middle one pipes us, "Mommy how did Daddy come to know Jesus as Savior?"

 

LOVE.  IT.   They listened. 

More importantly, God is stirring their precious little hearts with His word.

 

Just two years ago our oldest heard a testimony of a lady in our church coming to Christ.   That evening he asked Christ into his heart.   Sharing your testimony may seem somewhat antiquated.  When I first became a believer, Campus Crusade put a huge emphasis on writing out your testimony and being ready to share it at any given opportunity.  Fast forward eleven years into adulthood and hearing people's testimonies seems to be a lost art.

 

Sometimes in the Christian subculture we get caught up in formality or traditions of men.  It's all to easy to do.  Sharing our testimony at church or with a  women's group might seem more appropriate.  After all you'd "reach" more people.
 

But, after today, I'm seriously convicted about not just sharing my personal testimony with my boys, but having an open and on going dialogue about what The Lord is doing in my life.

Why?  It shows Him real to them.  It shows them the reality of an adult "who can do whatever they want."  Submitting themselves to God, being changed, being used for something and someone more important than themselves.  It's more than reading through the Bible with them, it's more than talking at them, it's more than helping them hide His word in their hearts...it's being willing to use discretion and share what is appropriate at their ages and within the confines of a parent/child relationship...to show Christ active in your own life.

Can I challenge you as the Lord has challenged me?  Have you shared your testimony with your kids?  After all, dear friend, it is their heritage as well.   God didn't put your kids into your care by accident.  He chose you to parent them before they were formed in your womb.  He saved your soul not just for you, but to impact those He has given you.

Crossing out the 'un'

This morning I sat down at my computer to play catch up.  Been walking through some things with my family that have been very consuming.   So after a few minutes I realized I was about 4 days behind according to my daily desk calendar.  I speed read, a lot.  It's a great habit I was taught in middle school, however I've found as an adult I am constantly teaching myself to slow down and read...really read...and digest what is before me.  So, as I realized I was 'living in the past' on my calendar there was a sentence that jumped out at me before I flipped the page to catch up.

"He does not call us to unfinished tasks or halfhearted ventures."

Well, once I read that I knew I had to read the entire days' devotion.  You see, I can honestly look at my life and say...I am the queen of unfinished tasks.  I am extremely disciplined and yet somehow it seems my intentions often far exceed my accomplishments.

I have no idea why that is one of my biggest struggles....in fact it was a huge deterrent for me when deciding to homeschool.  I think as I go through life just being a mom part of life is actually unfinished tasks. I generally always have a load of laundry to fold or some other chore that may not get done.  That's not what I'm talking about.  So I stopped, slowed my mind down and read the entire devotion this morning, and I want to share it because it is encouraging to me:

"The LORD will perfect that which concerns me."  Psalm 138:8

"God desires for us to become all that He created us to be.  He expects us to develop and then to use all of the talents, abilities, and gifts that He has placed within us...God's plan is for us to accomplish all of the work that He sets before us.  He does not call us to unfinished tasks or halfhearted ventures.  When God places a challenge, opportunity, or goal in front of us, He expects us to pursue it with our whole heart, mind, and soul to experience a measure of success in accomplishing what He has called us to."

Now you may need to read that a few times to capture what the author (Charles Stanley) is suggesting.  He is not suggesting unparalleled success, or propagating a prosperity or poverty gospel.  He is simply encouraging us in what the word says in Psalm 138, that God has called each of us to certain ventures in our lives that He has uniquely gifted us to accomplish and that the success we experience when we accomplish what He has set before us, is refining, freeing, challenging and a blessing all at the same time.  "Perfect" means to complete.  He will complete it.

It's the call to serve wholeheartedly in a church plant when you are perfectly comfortable at your well established church where you thoroughly enjoy the preaching and your kids enjoy the established children's ministry and they have friends.  It's the persistent call from the Lord to homeschool when you just think it's the absolute last thing you would ever sign up for, let alone do and do well.  It's the reminder that, as God calls you to be a teacher, He will lead you into a deep student/teacher relationship with Himself.  He will speak powerfully to your heart daily, hourly if need be, but He will accomplish His purpose.  It's the living reality of Proverbs 19:21, "Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails."

I believe the unfinished tasks and halfhearted ventures aren't the daily to-dos that don't get checked off, but rather those specific callings that the Lord Himself has called us each to individually.  Be it homeschool, be a working mother, serve in church, be an intentional grandparent, be a writer, teach kids, work in a secular job.  Whatever the specific calling that the Lord has placed before you, two things are certain:  He will sustain you in what He has called you to do (1 Thessalonians 5:24) and His purpose will prevail (Proverbs 19:21).

It takes a great deal of discernment to know when to calls it quits and when to pursue something.  I honestly believe if you are seriously seeking God for that discernment He will make it abundantly clear which direction you are to take.  Often times, I've found...the hardest part about changing our lives' course is the fear of man.  What will others think if we don't go into full time ministry when we were so sure that was what God had for us?  So do we live in the shadow of condemnation if the Lord leads us out of paid ministry into a regular lay lifestyle?  Absolutely not.  Remember there is now therefore no condemnation in Christ Jesus.  Own your weaknesses, own your strengths.  God created you with both and remember it is in what you would quickly label a weakness that God's word says in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."  In all of it look for God....He is there. In every situation, unfulfilled dream or unrealized expectation...you will find the Lord.  He does not leave His children, He does not forsake them.

It's possible unmet expectations mean your expectations just weren't really in line with what the Lord has for you.  And, that's okay.  Confess those expectations to Him, and leave it there.  He will heal, restore and revive.  He does it all because of who He is.

So let's boldly seek the Lord asking Him to take our unfinished tasks, and turn them into finished tasks....let's cross that 'un' right out...and rely on Him to complete it.

The younger me probably wouldn't like the older me....

This morning I am completely overwhelmed with the goodness of the Lord!!  Over the past few weeks, the Lord has been allowing me to experience something that honestly a few years ago I don't know I would have been thankful for...but today...I'm standing in His word and His grace and thankful.   Thankful just for Him.

Sometimes we are thankful for the blessings He gives us, and sometimes we are thankful for His word...or other "things."  But I think it's an extremely intimate thing when you are in a situation where you are truly just thankful for Him.  Right now, I'm right there.

This is our God:

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.
 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.
 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

Psalm 103:9-12

 

I'm at a place in my life, where I am much more apt to err on grace rather than judgment.  I think early in my faith I may have looked at myself and thought "she's just spiritually mediocre."  Funny isn't it?  I would have probably judged myself as weak...and yet today...I can honestly say that the Lord has inscribed His word upon my heart so powerfully and passionately.  I think the "younger" me would not like the "older" me.  Yet, I am at a place where pleasing people is not my priority...while I will do my best to live at peace with all men but I will boldly profess that my hope, my confidence, my trust, my peace, my love, it's all from Christ. 

 

I am awed by the truth that the Lord Himself does not throw things up in our faces, He reminds us NOT of our failures and sins....but the blood of our Redeemer.  All too often we choose to dwell on the sins we've committed or the past failures or even the moments we've not obeyed the Lord and quenched the Spirit in our lives....and yet our gracious God...our compassionate God ever mindful of our sinful state, continues to draw us to Calvary.  Showing us the price is paid, the redemption is complete.  He has absolutely paid the price.  Nothing more can be offered.  Our only response is just humble submission to His call on our lives.

 

Everyday there are tons of little things that threaten to pull us away from doing the right thing, doing what God has called each of us to do.    God wants us to be willing to do the right thing.  And by right thing, I mean....the thing He wants us to do, not necessarily what society says is right.  Situations, circumstances, our very own minds....all these things can seemingly have so much power...until we recognize and submit to the Lord...and ask Him for the power and strength to walk through each one in a way that does honor Him.   And guess what?  Even though you may not think you said all you should, or did all you could....the Lord is in charge and He's got it, from start to finish.

 

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1

 

"But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

It's all level ground

It's all about me!  You hear this all the time, and honestly it's an easy trap to fall into isn't it?  Marketing departments across the world dump billions of dollars into marketing the idea that we are to look after ourselves.  Take care of yourself!  Live for yourself, focus on yourself....have some "ME TIME."

Would you think I was nuts if I were to agree?  What? How is that biblical at all?

Well....roll with me on this one.  What I'm suggesting is a biblical approach to taking care of yourself...not necessarily emptying the bank account to buy the prefect pair of jeans....or ignoring all those around you just to live a carefree happy life....but rather I'm talking about the "me" time that is just you, by yourself....with no devices attached, no distractions...but just you...and the Lord.

There are several scriptures that the Lord has used to emphasize and re-emphasize the importance of bathing myself in prayer and in the word in order to be ready to teach others over the years, but this morning in 1 Samuel was such a tremendous blessing to me, and I pray it is for you as well.

"Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by ceasing to pray for you, and I will instruct you in the good and right way."  1 Samuel 12:23

He says, "As for me" and "far be it from me"  and "that I should sin."  Notice he doesn't say "as for you"  or "Far be it from you" or "That you should not sin against the LORD."  The example to us, is that our first priority is our personal relationship with the LORD.  Our relationship with the LORD must be prioritized and nourished.  We have to pursue Him first. 

Keep reading in the verse, he says, "and I will instruct you in the good and right way."  First it is about him and his relationship with God.  How can a man or woman....be prepared to instruct (or correct) others in the ways of God if they themselves are not in His word, seeking His will, His face...and asking how they might live first.  So first he tends to his relationship with the Lord, his heart...his motives, his sin, his struggles...not those of others around him.    Then, then he is filled with the Lord and ready to go and minister....either by teaching, loving, correcting or encouraging...whatever capacity he is called to serve...he is first filled by God and directed by His word because he was pursuing God himself.

It is just as in Ezra 7:10 (oh how this is my favorite...it just resonates to the very depths of my soul)....

"For Ezra had devoted himself to the study and observance of the Law of the Lord, and to teaching its decrees and laws in Israel."

It is the same example from Ezra.  First Ezra humbled himself before the Lord for teaching and instruction and then he sought to teach others.

And again confirmed in Matthew and Luke, I'll use Luke's text today,

"How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."  Luke 6:42

See dear friend, it's all level ground. We are all sinners.  We are all saved by the same grace...that glorious grace of the Lord Jesus.   The one and only Jesus, the one we are to "fix our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."  Hebrews 12:2

This Jesus who compassionately loves us, graciously saves us, and daily sanctifies us.  This Jesus who is above all and who gave more than we would ever deserve so we could know and serve a God who is beyond human comprehension. 

Humbling?  Yeah.....I'd say so.

Freeing?  Absolutely.

Empowering?  Without doubt...my God has no end and He is never exhausted by my great need for Him.