There are times frequently as I look at my three boys that I am completely overwhelmed with love for them that I'm moved to tears. It is possible that within minutes I am moved to utter disappointment because of their outward behavior so cleared exhibiting the sinfulness of their lost hearts. My struggle is simply responding with love rather than disappointment. Christ Himself continues to respond in love to my failures, and God our Father is the perfect parent. The range of emotions I experience with my children is generally a daily occurrence for me. Raising children is the toughest 'job' I've ever had. I honestly never thought I'd be a mother, and even more a wife, but God in His infinite mercy has blessed me richly with both roles. As I daily fail Him in my calling to be a godly mother to the three boys we have, and a godly wife to my spouse, I prayerfully beg Him to do a work in me daily to make me a better wife, mother, friend, sister, neighbor and above all a child of God that wholeheartedly seeks the Lord. I've been feeling lately that the patience of the Lord is amazing as He gently draws my heart to His and renews my mind with His word. Specifically I've been struck by the awesome love of our Savior.
Please do not let the familiarity of the following passage make it seem like second nature to you, "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." John 15:13 God has been drawing me near to Him to study of His love. The way we are raised and the way our parents show us love often is how we show love. I recall the countless times I heard my Daddy tell me he loved me, he still does it to this day. Throughout the day, several times a day, I draw my little ones near and whisper to them how much I love them. It's almost like seeing a part of my childhood all over again right in front of my face. Do I love my children? Absolutely, without a doubt. Do I love them with a godly selfless love rather than a self centered performance based love? Well...this is the struggle I am in right now as the Lord is so graciously leading me through His word to study of His love. I believe that we are all filled with love as we accept Christ as Savior because of the indwelling Holy Spirit. Meditate on the sweet words from Romans 5:5, "Now hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us." Amazing isn't it? Simply breath taking. Our God sent His Son to live and die for us, and then..sent us the Holy Spirit, who fills us with love (among the other fruits of the Spirit Gal 5:23).
Awesome isn't it? The beauty and promises of the infallible Word of God! Simple, pure, relevant, true and life changing. God is at work in my heart, it's tough and I feel as though I am in the midst about to go "further still" I'm about to enter a place where I will need intense prayer that I will NOT miss what God has to show me, that I will not miss the transformation of my heart because of my own sinfulness. I don't want to miss what the Lord has for me. I'm restating the words in John 15:13 continually in my mind and asking myself...Am I loving my family, friends, brothers and sisters in Christ to the point where I am willing to lay down my life for them? Both literally and in the sense of Phil 2:3 where I am esteeming other over myself giving preference to them so as to bring honor and glory to our Living Savior. So as to display His splendor in my life to point others to Him? Well..really..NO. I'm not, I'm a selfish sinner and I need to be radically transformed by a Living Savior.
I think what I've come to conclude as I have been studying the love of God is how truly amazing our Savior is, and the absolutely truth that I will never be able to wrap my finite mind around His glorious plans. God is amazing, and I am seriously humbled that He has chosen me to be His child. I know me, and sometimes I don't even like me, in the depths of my depravity I am absolutely disgusting, and there in the depths of my depravity a glorious Savior reached down to me, and covers me in His precious blood so that I may have a relationship with god the Father through Him, and He didn't stop there, He sealed me with the Holy Spirit to guide and direct me towards Him. "But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My Name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you." John 14:26 (NAS)
I would encourage you to prayerfully seek God and ask Him to reveal where you need to be transformed in how you love people, how you love your family and specifically how you love Him. Then pray and beg the Lord to fill you with His love, cry out to Him and ask Him to "make you increase and abound in love one to another and to all" echoing the sweet words of Paul in 1 Thessalonians 3:12. I think some of the most refreshing words in 1 Thessalonians is what immediately follows this prayer for the Lord to allow His love to increase and abound in love, "so that He may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ with all His saints." 1 Thessalonians 3:14 It is God's love in us that establishes our hearts blameless in holiness before Him. Oh how I long to have a heart so filled with the Love of God that He looks upon it and graciously establishes my heart blameless in holiness before Him.
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