For Ezra set his heart to study the law of the LORD, and to practice it, and to teach His statutes and ordinances in Israel. Ezra 7:10.
Lately my heart's cry has been this, "How am I to study and apply God's word for His greater glory?" For the first time in a long time I am feeling overwhelmed and disorganized. For those that know me, most would not think that disorganized is a characteristic of mine. What I have seen over the last five years is the Lord lovingly breaking me of my self-reliance to be organized and "type A" and changing my heart to His glory. I am more forgetful than I ever thought I would be...and not in a way where I am bragging about it, but just in a way that the Lord is using to humble me. It's hard at times, I blogged last time about over committing myself and what the Lord taught me about that. Now, that I have lessened my commitments, I am sitting at the feet of Jesus, wondering where do I begin? I feel as though I am an entirely new and fresh student of His. My heart is longing for a fresh teaching from His word, and I am desiring to learn more than I ever have. Yet as I sit here, I feel unorganized and unable to get a grasp on things.
The church that the Lord has my family and I attending is amazing. Every summer they do a series, this summer (our first) happens to be "Created to be Addicts." With the premises that we are all addicts and all created to be such, of course the subject of our addiction is to be God. Today was interesting, one of our Elders addressed the addiction to "good" things (placing good things of this world in an idolatrous position in our lives), such as family and children, money, morality (preserving our lives) and people (fearing what others may say about me and holding others' opinions above that of what the Lord's opinion of me is). Through the sermon this morning the Lord kept whispering to me, are you studying to my glory...for my glory? Or are you studying to pacify your "people idolatry" In other words, do I want to know God's word so that it will simmer within my heart and change me, that I may practice it before my children and then teach it to my children, and like Ezra who made his heart steadfast so that he could study God's word, practice God's word and THEN teach God's word....or am I so wrapped up in a daily quiet time because it's what I have always done? These are some tough questions, but they needed to be addressed.
The order in Ezra 7:10 is so important to me, and I know I can be tempted to miss the importance of each word if I don't pause upon this verse and beg the Lord for His grace to see... Ezra set his heart to study the law of the LORD, and to practice it, and to teach His statutes and ordinances in Israel. Ex. 7:10
Okay, Ezra first set his heart. I had to stop here, because if I didn't examine the original language I would miss so much. Setting his heart means to be steadfast in his inner man. To direct his inclinations towards. Ezra set his heart towards three things, and in specific order to. First, studying God's word, second towards practicing God's word and third towards teaching God's word. I know within myself that there is no way I can correct my children bad behavior with a clear conscience unless I myself am first in obedience to God. In order to do that I must first study His word, second practice His word and THEN go and teach His word to them...to others. I am first to examine myself...and sit before the LORD and beg Him to teach me. I remember in the first years after my conversion I was like a starving woman...looking for any book I could to reveal to me the secret to Christianity...to reveal how to "get it right." Until one day the Lord spoke so clearly to me in John 13:13, "You call Me Teacher and Lord; and you are right, for I am so." God alone is my teacher. I can absolutely learn from those who have gone before me, and can absolutely be challenged by the faith of my brothers and sisters, and absolutely learn each day from the lives that others live before me, and from the sermons our elders teach, and from countless other believers in Christ as they share what the Lord has revealed to them...but my ultimate dependence must be on Christ ALONE. My passion should be to study the person and life of Christ that I may daily die to self and live to Christ.
I think where I am at right now in my walk with Christ is this, I've bitten off more than I can chew and I need to go back to seeking His word verse by verse. I need to go back to the days where I aimlessly wondered about reading and rereading the index cards with just one verse a day so that I could memorize His word and hide it in my heart. So how do I do that amidst the wild life that the Lord has given me as a mother of three young ones. I'm not sure...all I know is that I would absolutely covet your prayers as I figure out how to immerse myself not just in the morning but throughout the day in the Word of God, so that I can study, practice it and teach is, with a firm and stable heart as Ezra did. I am begging God for a fresh revelation as to how to order my day to His glory. I think I want things to be a bit more simple and yet...I have more responsibility than I have ever had. I am trusting God, His word says, "faithful is He who calls you and He will also bring it to pass." 1 Thes. 5:24. God called me to be a wife to my husband, a mother to my children and even before any of those callings He has called me to be His own.
So how do I study to the glory of God? With a steadfast heart, crying out as David did,"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10 and asking God each time I open His word, with expectancy, "Call to Me and I will answer you and teach you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3. Then what? Trust that the Lord Himself will continue to live in and through me by the power of His Holy Spirit for His glory, transforming me into the image of Christ for His glory!
Dear sisters, pray for me and with me, that the Lord Himself will teach us all great and unsearchable things we do not yet know, and that He will empower us to live lives worthy of the gospel of Christ (Phil 1:27)...that we may live (as Martin Luther said) with "hearts that know no other comfort or confidence than Him"
No comments:
Post a Comment