I think sometimes I get a bit squeamish and feel I'm being worked over....at least I think I felt that in my twenties...and now...I just feel that the Lord has allowed me to embrace His work in my life and what it is...a tremendous blessing, that no matter what is going on, I am eternally grateful to know that God is God, He is working and He will NOT leave me alone. "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil. 1:6

I do believe that to some extent it's so easy for us to filter things through our own perspectives, how do situations affect me...what did I do wrong...how can I change this...and the list goes on. What is wrong with all those statements....where is God? Maybe I should try asking, how can I use this situation to honor the Lord, what is the Lord trying to change in my heart that will make me to be more like Christ, and therefore honor Him more in my daily living.

I'm recovering from surgery, my kids just got sick, my spouse is in the midst of studying for a crazy test that is very challenging, and yet...rather than get downtrodden and cry (yes I did this a bit this morning)...I just need to keep running to Jesus. I think I had a boowho party for about an hour this morning and just really kept praying that the Lord would give me the strength to deal with all the madness around me...including learning to lean on others for help. This is HUGE! This cuts to the heart of who I am, a prideful mother of three who wants to do it all herself. Merely asking for help is a monumental deal for me, I hate to bother other people, I don't want to impose. I like to "disappear" into the backdrop of life a lot...or so I thought...but what the Lord is revealing to me, that He already knew, and knew I needed to lay this down...is that somewhere deep down I really do like attention, not tons of it but enough that it isn't honoring to the Lord...and I allow my feelings to get hurt too much by people, which gently exposed to me that I am lacking so much in my trust of the Lord. God is good, He ALONE is faithful and His provisions are timely, perfect and meet exactly our needs! I have found myself not trusting God to work in other people to provide the help I need, or really, think I need because I have failed to lay my day down before the Lord and just simply trust that He alone knows my needs and will meet them as needed.

Seriously, ladies...I'm a mess. Our Savior is amazing. His word is perfect and His provisions are abundant. I am amazed at His relentless pursuit of my heart. He goes after it, even when I want to stuff things down and hold onto them because I just don't think I can handle the refining. Truth is, I can't handle any of it without Christ. I can't handle God's grace, I can't handle His provision, I can't handle His refining, because all of it is too much and without a doubt Perfect! It is Christ alone in me that even enables me to "handle" what the Lord gives. My heart is so full of a God who cares so immensely and so perfectly that I can not even wrap my mind around it. I'm thankful I don't have to, but rather just need to rest in the grace and peace of God that is ours in the "fullest measure" 1 Peter 1:2

In the smallest little things, God speaks to our hearts and says, "My love for you is Christ, perfect, atoning and forgiving"

Oh, that we wouls rest in the love and grace of the Almighty!! What a unified body we would be!!