That was a good cup

It's easy to look at a great cup of coffee and realize you've only got half of it left. I'll be honest when I realize it's half gone...sometimes I slow down....I try to savor it.  I really enjoy coffee, so it's really easy for me to drink a cup in a matter of minutes...sometimes without paying attention I pick it up to take a sip and it's gone.   All.  Too.  Fast.

In our society, no one wants to be 'negative Nancy' but let's face it,  we can all fall into that negative thought pattern at one time or another.

I don't think I'm alone in admitting there are days I wonder if my kids are missing something amazing by being homeschooled.
 
There, I said it.

It's true...I think most parents who homeschool at one point in their journey will wonder..."Am I really doing the best thing for them? Will they turn out okay? What if they don't turn out as smart as I think they are..." On and on the questions will roll through your mind.

Funny thing about our minds....they are battlefields. Really. There's a war going on inside each one of us, whether we want to acknowledge it or not. A little over a year ago a dear friend recommended a book , "Teddy's Button." The book is wonderful, the boys really enjoyed it they never wanted me to put it down, and to be honest...it spoke powerfully to my heart. A simple children's book.  It very realistically and simplistically presents the warfare we face as believers.  The war against ourselves.

Over the years I've learned it's better to acknowledge the battle rather than ignore it and hope it just goes away.

God tells us, "For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds."
  2 Corinthians 10:3-4

I think one of the best comments I've read recently on the battle within is from Paul D. Tripp, "If you do not accept your ongoing struggle with sin, if you entertain the thought that your greatest problem in life exists outside of you and not inside, if you try to convince yourself that you are more righteous than you really are, you will not seek the forgiveness and righteousness that can only be found in the Lord Jesus Christ."

You see, of course I will wonder if I'm doing the right thing by my children.   I don't think I'd be a 'normal' mom if I never questioned the choices I make for my child.  Parenting is HARD!  I'm not just talking about the basics, like feeding, clothing and grooming them.  I'm talking the dailyness of teaching young boys to become men.  To become responsible yet fearless, self-controlled yet passionate....dependent upon Christ...yet independent of peers.  Yeah, being a parent it mind boggling.


I don't believe the battle is sinful.  I believe it's what we choose to do in the midst of it.   Are we actively choosing to rely on His word as truth?  Are we walking in the truth?  Remember, "I have no greater joy than to hear my children are walking in the truth."  3 John 1:4

Is it normal I will question whether or not I am doing the 'best' for my kids?  Absolutely.  That I don't think it a sin, I think that's part of parenting.   See, we aren't God.  We don't know without doubt what is best.  We do not see the future and know the outcome.

As Christ followers, we know the One who does.  Therefore, we can trust unwaveringly in His plan and His faithfulness to His children.  "Many are the plans of a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."  Proverbs 19:21

I remember well, dropping my oldest off at K5.  Thinking private school would be a sacrifice, but it would be worth it.  Four years later, two weeks in....I am thinking, wow homeschool is a sacrifice, but it is worth it.

God changes us...through time, through circumstances...but most effectively and powerfully through His word.  It's living and active...and waiting.  Chances are you've got a copy available at your fingertips if you can access the internet.  I encourage you...open it up, ask God for fresh eyes to see....and a pure heart to receive.  Undoubtedly God will change your life.

So living in the battle no longer becomes seeing the coffee cup as half empty, but rather choosing joy in the midst of the empty cup.  Finding thankfulness for the ability to have and drink the cup rather than grumbling at how fast it went.