Continual Surrender

Lately I've been dealing with some family issues. I'm very well aware that no family is perfect so each one of us will deal with issues. But I will say that now that I am a mother, the Lord has renewed within my heart a passion for my family, and I mean my extended family...which at this point in my life is my parents, my sibling and beyond that. My immediate family is my spouse and my three boys. We are the Valentines and this is my family! We are in it together and go through the ups and downs, and beg God for His mercy to do it all to His glory!! The family issues I have are with my father mostly. It's really as if he's absent. The other day I was thinking that I sometimes feel like an orphan in this world....as if my Dad is gone. We go months without speaking, and it doesn't seem to bother him, or my step mom. Which is fine...and I say that with peace now. I mean, I am about to be 31 years old. You wouldn't think I'd mind too much if I didn't chat with my Dad on a regular basis. But see, here's one thing I am mindful of, this life is but a vapor, and with my Dad in his sixties, I don't know how long I have left with him. I remember as a young child how I loved my Grandpa. He was the kind of quiet man whose presence dominated a room, because of his kindness and gentleness. His character spoke volumes, his mouth didn't have to. I loved my Grandpa..and though I only had seven years with him, I do have fond memories of time with him. I think because I had such an amazing set of grandparents I want that for my children too. I wanted that with my parents and my kids, but sometimes...the Lord has other plans. "Many are the plans of a mans' heart, but it is the Lord purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21

So, after four years living away from all our family in the Midwest, my husband and I returned to the south with two children, unaware that soon the Lord would bring another into our family. God has given us confirmation that He has completed our family and here we are in the midst of the south, close to family, trying to raise our children for His glory. Tomorrow my youngest (and last) baby turns one! WOW! I look back on this past year and am totally amazed at what the Lord has done in our lives, in our marriage, with our children. My oldest is turning into a young boy, getting ready to invade K5 at the local Christian school. Yes...invade...I'm praying for a miracle!!! So here we are, all of our family, my in-laws (father, mother, sisters and brothers) all live at most an hour away, and my father and stepmother are within two hours away. I have to say, that as I was planning my youngest' birthday party it brought to the surface all the pain I had to deal with regarding my family situation. Every time I go through this, it's a repeat surrender to the Lord, but it seems a tough road to go down. I know I need to leave this at the Lord's feet, but most, not all of the time a family event comes up, it's as if I pick up all the "junk" again and go through the emotions. Why do I pick this up every time? That's been my question lately, and God in His grace as I was reading through Psalms the morning of my sons' party preparing possibly to see my father for the first time in months, blessed my soul with this:

He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

Our LORD!!! How marvelous His grace and how complete His healing. He heals my broken heart and binds up my wounds. Why then do I in my sinful flesh reopen them? Lay it down Brittany!!!! That's what I hear from Him. Lay it down and LEAVE it!!!!!

Whatever thoughts I entertain about why my parents have very little to do with my sister and I and our families, well...they are just wrong. I have to lay it down and LEAVE it. Allowing the Lord to bind up the wounds of the past and trust Him for the healing in the future. This was a tough lesson to "relearn." But I think that as a sinner, there are many things in life that the Lord teaches me, that in His mercy he will teach me over and over again because of His great compassion!!! He never fails me, He never tires of lovingly putting His word in my heart, He never tires of being my father. His concern is for me. I LOVE this word from the LORD:

"How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!" Psalm 139:17


He makes my heart want to sing, "How great is our God." He is a father to the fatherless (Ps. 68:5). And He restores us, and blesses us and lets us dwell under the shadow of His wings. How GREAT it our God ladies!!!! "Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!" Romans 11:33


Ladies, no matter the circumstance, no matter the times you've revisited it, don't give up! Wrestle through it with God. Search His word for your answers...He will bless your soul, He will set you free from it. I think I've visited this family issue countless times, but every time I do the Lord graciously brings me to a place of surrender, and even if I have to continually surrender to Him, I count it gain. I think it's not so much saying, "I got it and I'm over this and I don't ever have to worry about this struggle" as much as it is making it a habit to continually surrender whatever it is to the Lord and trust in Him for the outcome. After all, it's not about me and what I've got under control, but about the Lord and how He leads me to give it all to Him and to surrender to Him.

While I often look to what I do not have (the relationship with my own father), I am choosing this time to embrace what I do have..an amazing set of in laws that love the Lord Christ, and that are to my children what my grandparents were to me. Whom I know will come alongside my husband and I and do their best, by the power of the Holy Spirit, to point these three precious boys to Jesus.

"We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.." 2 Cor.10:5

Ladies, let's pray for one another that we would take our thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ so that we may honor Him in our thoughts and hearts and minds to His glory!!!! Then let us fix our eyes upon Jesus the Author and Perfecter of our faith (Heb 12:2) and commit to continually and daily surrendering our lives to Him.